Old man take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you (Neil Young)

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

Recently, we spent a day/night in the E.D. and an observation ward at Palmerston North hospital, while Jacky received treatment for Influenza A. in the bed next to her was an elderly dementia patient who was treated with impressive respect and compassion by the nurses and doctors. They were remarkably kind and patient, even when he failed to communicate with them.

However, another patient in the ward was not so compassionate or tolerant. She loudly complained, made jokes and loudly huffed and puffed.

Yes, his continual loud exhortations of 'help' and his regressions to childhood (he referred to 'mummy' a few times) were testing. It was hard to hear him often say, "I'm going to die" amongst other things, but there for the grace of God go all of us.

I couldn't help thinking about his life. There was no one with him, either from his family or the rest home that he'd come from, but he must have had a life, right? Maybe a wife, maybe children. He wasn't always like this.

I also wondered about his what-next. We left the ward and came home, but what's next for him? My heart went out to him, and I was ashamed of the response from that other patient. When she tried to enlist me in her shenanigans, I just said that I felt for the poor guy. At that, she turned around and walked away.

Love and peace - Wozza

Iron John

Wie geht's?

I'm re-reading Robert Bly's Iron John (A Book About Men) so things from that will naturally filter onto my blogs as I go.

I was taken by this statement early in chapter 1 (The pillow and the key): 

The possessiveness that mothers typically exercise on sons - not to mention the possessiveness that fathers typically exercise on daughters - can never be underestimated.

Possessiveness. Interesting.

I've just finished reading Earth To Moon by Moon Unit Zappa. Frank Zappa had an extremely complicated relationship with his four children. He and his wife Gail had two sons, two daughters (as I do). It's a peculiar possessiveness exercised by Frank, and Moon has spent a lifetime (and her book) trying to figure it out.

I spent Sunday grading my Year 13 students work analysing One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest from a Freudian perspective. They came up with some great insights as they speculated on the relationships the characters had with their parents.

Mothers and sons. Fathers and daughters.

Fascinating. 

Love and peace - Wozza

What's the point of having countless books and libraries, whose titles could hardly be read through in a lifetime? (Seneca)

Wie geht's?

Revelation: I can't see a time ahead when I stop buying records (according to Jacky, music is my oxygen) but I think I need to stop buying books for a while.

Currently, I have 28 books in those three to-be-read piles in the picture above (non-fiction/fiction/music). At my current rate I will read all of those in the next 6 to 7 months, but I keep adding to the pile!

I need to continue to prioritise quality over quantity in my book buying (and delay a visit to Unity Books for a few months).

Love and peace - Wozza

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read (Groucho Marx)

Wie geht's?

One of the 26 highlights that didn't quite make the cut for my top ten (even though Iron John was mentioned) was a trip to a mall in Santa Rosa. It contained a huge secondhand bookstore with all proceeds going to the local library.

There were some great finds, and some super helpful staff, all volunteers. I mentioned to one lady that I was looking for some books about Harry Truman and she produced a whole pile. I grabbed two, plus 4 other books that were on my list (novels by Iris Murdoch and Penelope Fitzgerald among them) and took them to the counter to pay.

The guy added the number of books I had in my pile (there were six), and said, "Six dollars please". I'm sure my mouth fell open!

"Six??"

"Yes, sir - all our books are a dollar each".

Wow! What a great deal. The Truman book at the bottom of the pile is super big and super heavy but when I started reading it, I was hooked, so it had to come home with me.

Love and peace - Wozza

I'm thinking about eternity, some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me (Bruce Cockburn)

Wie geht's?

Facebook often distorts people's lives. It can varnish the truth and lapse into a look-at-the-great-life-I'm-living approach. I get that. Who wants to present the reality of things when the platform exists to air-brush that stuff out.

Travel can have its strains and stresses fersure, and, unfortunately, we were not complete as a family because of Keegan's absence.

I note all that as a preamble/caveat to my top ten highlights from our roadie in California and the wedding in Denver.

The three weeks certainly had travel's usual mix, but I easily listed 26 moments from my travel diary that were mind-blowingly great. However, 26 rosy-tinted moments would be OTT, so - here are my top 10.

10) Celebrating our 41st Wedding anniversary and Jacky's birthday (twice as we crossed the international dateline).

9) Capitola - staying at The Inn at the Depot air B'n'B and dining down by the sea.

8) Babysitting/spending time with Poppy and Asher at 3236 Arapahoe St, Denver.

7) Finding Arsenal kit at the Soccer Warehouse in Anaheim.

6) S'mores at Fanfa/Drew's house with everyone (toasted marshmallow with chocolate inside a Graham cracker).

5) Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland with Jacky, Jade, Chris and Asher.

4) Best scenery - the Big Sur coastline and listening to two whales slapping the water with their fins.

3) Best finds - tough one to select but I've whittled it down to two. Both had that rush of can-I-believe-my eyes. First would be finding copies of three albums by The Cowsills. The best being a copy of Captain Sad for $6 in Wax Trax Records in Denver. Second would be finding a copy of Robert Bly's Iron John book in a secondhand tool store, also in Denver. Another big plus: loved my record shopping expedition with Adam, Ashleigh and Poppy - three generations of record lovers is special.

2) Best Meal - While in Sonoma we drove to Bodega Bay and the Armstrong Woods. Driving back to Petaluma via Highway 116 along the banks of Russian River, we stopped at a roadhouse for lunch - grabbed a pizza slice each and a House Coffee. OMG. It was amazingly good sitting it that almost empty roadhouse having that simple meal with Jacky.

1) A solo father-of-the-bride dance with Samantha to Bruce Cockburn's Wondering Where The Lions Are was my personal number 1 highlight. Some context: when the kids were little I'd wake them up by singing the opening lines to the song:

Sun's up, uuh huh, looks okay
the world survives into another day
and I'm thinking about eternity
some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me.

Samantha clearly remembered that and honoured that memory by choosing it for our dance. It's a moment of ecstasy that I will cherish forever.

Love and peace - Dad

Wherever you go - there you are

Wie geht's?

Weird how time works, or rather - how it's been constructed to work by humans.

We left Denver on Sunday May 4th (yes, may the force be with you, always). Two Ubers, three flights, and a drive home from Palmerston North to Takapau later and it's Tuesday May 6.

I won't even try and work that out.

Point being - one instant - you're there - standing in a doorway in Denver (3236 Arapahoe Street) with your loved ones, and the next - you're someplace else (and so are they).

That moment (captured above), and other moments from the last three weeks, are preserved in memory now. Very precious.

Next post I'll whittle down my 26 highlights into a top ten.

Love and peace - Wozza