Love and marriage, love and marriage: go together like a horse and carriage (Frank Sinatra)

Wie geht's?

Robert Bly on marriage:

In marriage, there can be boundaries, and valid
points of view on each side of the boundary. They don't have to merge into one view.

This seems a no-brainer to me. Although couples merge in many ways, each person in a marriage is distinct. When I think about my parents' marriage, they merge as 'Dulcie and Graham'. 

However, they were two distinct people with clear differences in background, personality, interests, and characteristics. By the same token, they are forever united in my brain as one unit with the same core values and the same approach to parenting.

I tend to see my own marriage in the same way. We merge as 'Warren and Jacky' - but we are also a unit with the same core values. That said, we still each have valid points of view on each side of the boundary.

I think that view also holds up for the marriages of our friends and whanau.

Love and peace - Wozza