I was meant to know the plot, but all I knew was what I saw (Joan Didion)

Photo by Mounish Raja on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

Reading Joan Didion's The White Album has been informative. Within the opening pages, she uses a sobering phrase 'what would probably be the middle of my life' and I realise a few things. 

In my late sixties, the middle part is done and I am heading towards the later part of my life, but I am still 'a competent enough member of some community or another' (as Joan puts it). Partly the reason why I don't want to retire any time soon. That said, I do realise I am at the pre-retirement stage of my career.

The further realisation is that I am at a unique time in my life. Still employable! I'm about to start a new job - was that an attempt to prove to myself that I still could, you may ask. Not consciously, would be my answer. However, I am no longer frequently named. As in: I no longer have (or need) a fancy title. 

Many people asked me what title I would have at my new school and they were a bit nonplussed when I said that my senior management/leadership years were behind me. Never say never, but, like Winston Peters, I am happy to be where I am at.

The later part of life also means our nest has been empty for a long time now. Our children, who live in four different countries, are brilliant human beings, living their lives. We have three grandchildren, soon to be four. This year marks our 42nd wedding anniversary. 

I look around at my record collection and realise I will soon need to do what fellow collectors of my age are thinking of doing - downsizing it. 

These days, I know I am much more careful about buying new records (but not books). On a recent mini-break to Wellington I bought 5 records and 5 books. In the past I would have bought 10 records and 2 books.

Partly the reason for posting about my collection on my Goo Goo G'Joob blog was to establish a list of albums that are meh (i.e. 2 stars) in my reviewing criteria. The idea was that would quickly sort the wheat from the chaff. A cull is coming!

Back to Joan for a final thought: 'We live entirely...by the imposition of a narrative line upon disparate images, by the "ideas" with which we have learned to freeze the shifting phantasmagoria which is our actual experience'.

Life, it seems to me, is about making sense and then peace with the ever-shifting phantasmagoria as we go. At least, that's what I attempt to do.

Love and peace - Wozza