Baby, all the lights are turned on you (Billy Joel)

Phew baby - what a busy couple of weeks at work. I have been gearing up for a visit from a UK inspection outfit called Tribal. UK schools are inspected by Ofsted and NZ has ERO. We have Tribal.

They basically come to each school in the UAE that is being supported/advised by an outside provider, like Cognition Education, for two days of check up. Each supported school has a Lead Advisor, like me, and an advisory team. We are responsible for 44 Key Performance Indicators (KPIs). Yes indeedy - 44.

Each KPI makes up a percentage. They range from 20% to .5%.

To give you an idea - an example is KPI 25 worth .5% which says that food served at school must comply with certain regulations. To prove that I have to provide evidence of our school's policy on school canteens, evidence that we implement that policy, the school nurse's daily checking on food standards, income and expenditure from the canteen is checked, and we need evidence that we consult with the students about the food they receive.

The aim, of course, is to meet all 44 KPIs, and you can probably see what a big job this is. Factor in that I arrived at the end of Trimester 1, had no translator for two months and a part time advisory team and that the company loses money if schools don't meet their KPIs and you'll get a sense of the slight (itsy teensy weensy) stress involved.

So anyway...this week Tribal came to inspect us on Tuesday and Wednesday and we were ready for them. They were impressed and we achieved 100% compliance. Wahoo!!

Steve from Tribal, Wozza with Amir watching robotics.

Mohammed, Wozza, Maggie - ESOL teacher

Wozza, Steve, Mohammed, Bernard (Tribal) and Fadhel (our VP)

Now we can get on with the job of improving the teaching and getting our student achievement levels to increase. The students have their last set of examinations in June and then leave for the year. The school year actually ends on July 13.

Jacky and I are then on holiday for a month before we come back for the start of our second year around mid August. We have decided not to come back to NZ during this break (bit too far and a bit too cold), instead we will fly back at Christmas time to catch up with friends and family.

Jade is going to visit us in early July for a couple of weeks and before that Jacky's dad, Brian, is flying in for a holiday in the desert from the end of next week. If you're reading this Brian you don't need any wet weather gear! It's a gorgeous, balmy 45 to 48 degrees every day.  Temperatures will peak in July around the mid 50 degrees so leave the scarves and gloves on Waiheke.

Jacky and I celebrated the end of being Tribalised by a visit to the movies - Pirates Of The Caribbean - On Stranger Tides.



It seems nothing they will ever do in the franchise will equal the freshness and lightness of touch that was achieved in the first movie - Pirates Of The Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl. Part 4 has some good lines, is fun and makes sense after the complete rubbish of Parts 3 and 4 (yes I know you disagree with me Fanfa), but it is no masterpiece.

It was still a worthwhile experience even if we had to have a hot shower to get our core temperature up after the arctic AC in the multiplex. Second thoughts Brian - maybe you'll need those winter woollies if you want to see a movie while you're here.

Love and peace - Wozza

Believe in sheltering skies and stable earth beneath (Mountain Goats)

Okay - so it's hot outside! How hot? Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum.

It was forecast to be 46 degrees today. A new high. But in reality it was 48 degrees.

What's that feel like?

It's like opening the door on a hot clothes dryer, except the air continues to blow hot and it doesn't stop when you unplug it. And it follows you around, all day, and all of the night (good song in there somewhere).

It's so hot the bananas are ripe for a day and then not.

It's so hot that people are shading themselves with umbrellas and newspapers.

It's so hot that today at school I could feel m y  s p e e c h  s  l  o  w  i  n  g  d   o   w   n  a n d  m y  b o d y  m o v e m e n t s  b e c o m i n g  a  r e a l  e   f   f   o   r   t. The brain goes into a temporary kind of go slow. I was speaking to Hesham (my translator) after assembly (about 7.30am) and it was like I was moving/thinking in slow motion. Then we walked into a classroom block where the AC was working and the change in both of us was amazing. We were both suddenly back into normal mode, like we'd woken up. A very strange sensation indeed.

It's so hot that if the ACs break down we send the students home! Today I was observing an Arabic Studies lesson and the window was open. The hot air came in and met the colder AC air of the classroom and it struct me as the reverse of what I'm used to in Nu Zild classrooms where there are no ACs (but there should be).

And it's going to get hotter.

Love and peace - Wozza

Feeling California, looking Minnesota (Soundgarden)

Yawm 'asal wa yawm basal (One day honey, one day onions).

I thought it was about time that I gave you a glimpse of where we live. Mainly coz it seems certain that we will be moving in July to a new apartment complex in a different section of Al Ain. More on that when it happens.

On Sunday night after work we went for a walk (as we often do). Here is what we see as we make our way around the block.

We start off our virtual walk outside The Gardens apartments (so called because of the gardens - imaginative bunch aren't they - kiwis). To the left is a main road and we are on a slip road parallel to it. The rubbish carts sit at intervals outside the apartments. Lord knows who or when they are emptied - I've never witnessed it or heard it! The Purdmobile (a.k.a. the Tiida) is the car further up on the right. Next photo is of our neighbours' place - obviously, also kiwis although we've never met them.



All of these pictures are of properties we see on our walk - I took quick snaps so as not to disturb anyone (or get arrested for casing the joint).

These dates that Wozza is admiring are not yet ripe but they grow in plentiful quantities all over the show. Below is our neighbourhood grocery store which is attached to the mosque behind us, and as we round the corner there is The Hilton across the road.

It's real hot now and yet these beautiful flowers seem to grow all year round. These one's are outside the entrance way to Number 17 (we are 7b). We often come across these water stations that are placed outside people's properties for public use.

Homeward bound and we're back on 'our' street.

Love and peace - Wozza

Happy, happy birthday baby (The Tune Weavers)

A big ole fashioned Hippy Burpday to Fanfa.That song in the title came out in 1957 (a great great year). Almost as good as 1989.

The last year of the eighties was notable for Back To The Future Part II, Milli Vanilla, and the emergence of Samantha Purdy. Little did her proud parents know that they were in for 14 months of sheer lung bursting noise every night!

Love - dad

I command you to kneel before the God of thunder and rock and roll (Kiss)

I've finally finished the Thesinger book Arabian Sands that I mentioned a while ago. The stories of his stay with Sheihk Zayed in Buraimi in the late 1940s, when the future ruler is a youngish man with clear charisma, were interesting because, in 2011, we see Zayed's influence everywhere in the UAE and we live a stones throw from Buraimi on the UAE/Oman border. To have a semi-mythical character given flesh and blood like this was a revelation.

I'm now dipping back into my stockpile of books.

First up is The Te Of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff. I really enjoyed his first book in a similar style called The Tao Of Pooh. I enjoy this pop art view of the Tao. Basically Tao, pronounced like the arabian boats called dhows, means living in harmony with all things or 'the universe'. The links from the Tao to the A A Milne stories of my childhood are really appealing.

My stockpile of books also includes a slim volume version of The Tao Te Ching of Lao Tzu. My other copy is in storage in New Plymouth so I needed a new one.

As a sage Lao Tzu is perfect: as alert as a person crossing a winter stream, as simple as uncarved wood and as yeilding as melting ice.

Hoff takes Piglet and explores how his character embodies Te (pronounced Deh). Te can be defined as virtue in action. This kind of literary mash-up is fun to explore and read and I love recommending them.

Talking of pop or low culture - Jacky and I saw Thor at the movies a few nights ago. First up - let me tell you that the movie going experience here is not the greatest.

• It's generally freezing. They turn the AC up full blast. It's 41 degrees outside (ie - bloomin' hot) but to go to a movie I have to dress up in jeans, hoodie and shoes.
• It's generally deafening. I always think of Peter Joyce when I go to the movies. He'd be gone burger after 5 seconds. Why o why they have it so BLOOMIN' LOUD is beyond me. Maybe it's designed to cover up the cell phones (see below).
• Cell phones go off every five minutes. And when they are not going off the youngsters check their phones incessantly to see why they haven't gone off.
• The locals bring in three course meals to munch on during the film. Usually one of the courses involves nachos, which smell!
• Time of day is crucial. Anytime after the afternoon siesta is fatal. The locals all come out to play from about 5.30pm onwards and you can then times the above annoying behaviour by 10.

If you can survive all that and concentrate on the actual film you are doing well. For a film to hold your attention during all that it has to be exceptional.

Thor is not exceptional. But it is a bit of fun. And it did have some (intentional) humour. And Natalie Portman!

Thor was one of my favourite comics when I was younger. The cosmic relationship between Thor and his brother, Loki, was always a great example of sibling rivalry. The relationship with his father, Odin, also had unusual depth and shading for a comic book.

It's a tough (impossible?) ask for a mere movie to recapture the awe inspiring nature of the original comic but I still went hoping for a reasonably faithful rendition and with the recent disappointments of Iron Man 1 and 2 and Fantastic Four 1 and 2 at the forefront of my brain.

Sure enough the film pales next to the comic and I won't be buying the DVD for a repeat viewing but it was still an okay piece of entertainment. And did I mention it has Natalie Portman in it?

Love and peace - Wozza

Adolf builts a bonfire, Enrico plays with it (Peter Gabriel)

I think of weird things while pootlin' along in the Tiida, on the way to work. I was struck by the thought, the other day, that somewhere in the world Paul McCartney is doing something - present tense. Then I thought about Ringo also out and about - doing stuff. I wonder what? The UAE is three hours ahead of UK time so it's coming up breakfast time there as I write this. Maybe they are about to get a bite to eat somewhere in Britain.Macca has just announced his engagement to Nancy so his kippers should be extra delish today.

Amazing eh. What a privilege to be alive and safe to day dream such things.

When I think like this I get a glimpse of my own existence and also my luck. I'm alive in a world that holds two former Beatles (and for my first 23 years all four walked the earth with me, well - not with me but it was comforting to know they existed somewhere). 

I thought about this again when Osama bin Laden's death was announced this week (Jacky rang me at work to tell me); we also share the planet with unspeakably evil people.

My initial thought was a selfish one I'm afraid. What does this mean for me and Jacky?

A thought crossed my mind briefly and was quickly dismissed: to all intents and purposes if locals see us in downtown Abu Dhabi we could be mistaken for Americans (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Some of my best friends are Americans but America has done us Kiwis and Aussies no favours by killing bin Laden and then dancing around in the streets of America a-hoopin' and a-hollerin'. What's that about? Yes, like Adolf, he was an evil, twisted, mass murderer and perhaps his death gave closure and a sense of justice to the families of his many victims but to see people celebrating a death like their team had just won the Superbowl was unsettling to me and I would say a whole heap of moderate arabs.

The reaction at school has been quite muted by contrast. As the westerners have kept their thoughts to themselves (hard to get a water cooler conversation going on this with an Emirati - "So - how about that bin Laden eh?" doesn't quite work) - so too have the middle easterners.

Now, a few days later, and it's almost like it never happened. It's largely vanished from the news as an event. On to the next thing I spose. I wonder what karma has in store for him.

For me the tragedy of bin Laden is also the way he subverted Islam to cause havoc and war. His legacy is really the hate that a lot of people in the west feel towards muslims since 9/11. By becoming a mass murderer and using Islam as a pretext, he has done no favours to the people he was trying to support.

Salaam alaykum - Wozza

He's a complicated man but no one understands him but his woman (Isaac Hayes)

The exercise regime continues apace. As I mentioned a few posts ago - Jacky has taken possession of a cross trainer. She's been using it for a few days and has been enjoying the exercise I understand.

I've been going to the gym every second day for some time now. We are both members of Hiltonia - the swank name the Hilton Hotel in Al Ain has for its extended membership so that Joe Public can use the facilities. I go along to use the treadmill, rowing machine and exercise bikes. Apart from that I walk 5k around Jacky's flash equestrian centre when she's riding.

All 'n' all we are reasonably fit.

Funny isn't it - while in NZ we both did very little exercise - mainly restricted to farm walks and work around the place. But here (and in Doha before here) we turn into regular gym rats.

In fact see if you can tell the difference between these two pictures (hint - one of the following is a fitness guru geek poser and the other is Richard Simmons)

Love and peace - Wozza