Take you down t’ the foamin’ brine ‘n water (Captain Beefheart)

Rambling Man (You may say I'm a dreamer - Chapter 10 part 4)

Purdy kids before heading to the UK

As we prepared for our departure in Auguest 2004: Adam was about to finish his final year at Cambridge High School; Keegan was flatting while at Waikato University doing his BA; Samantha was in Year 10; and Jade was at Hautapu Primary.

It was messy, but Adam, Samantha and Jade were about to transition to the next stage of their education - Adam to University, Samantha to senior school with NCEA Level 1 and Jade to High School.

It's never easy moving schools and starting at new places but to our way of thinking this was the best messy change possible.

Adam at Abbey Road

Still, moving the five of us to the UK was disruptive in the extreme. Adam was unhappy - he gained Level 3 NCEA but couldn't sit any externals and was leaving his friends before he had to, Samantha and Jade also had their schooling disrupted. Not only because of the different September to July UK school year, but also the vastly different culture and educational system.

Before leaving, we had to sell a lot of our stuff, and put important stuff into storage. We had to resign jobs and find homes for the animals: Lewis went to live with Michelle and Gavin, Persia to Jenny Going and Sallie offered to look after Bazil for us.

This was all traumatic in all sorts of ways. But we did it, some of us with gritted teeth, because it was an adventure and we were all up for an adventure. Well, maybe not all. I was defintely driving the adventure but we had a family group conference and everyone had indicated they were open to the concept.

Stupid me! I should have realised a few important details but didn't. Jacky would follow me to whatever crazy location I picked, the girls were very young and had no concept of the life awaiting them in the UK and Adam was at best reluctant.

Sigh.

So, we headed off to live in Essex with a suitcase each and a carry on bag each. 

Singapore Airlines meant a stop over in Singapore. We did all the touristy things and had a great time at the bird park, Sentosa, swimming at the hotel, shopping, and adjusting to a new life. 

Unfortunately, for some reason Jade was really sick before we left Singapore and had a miserable start to the actual UK adventure.

The Grand, then...

We had booked a hotel in Leigh-on-sea, The Grand, from Nu Zild via the internet. Hey, it looked impressive in the advertising!

It turned out The Grand was a nearly derelict old Hotel that was being run by a Basil Fawlty clone. We moved into the top floor to find pigeons were using our bathroom as their own private hotel. Basil reluctantly came up all the stairs with his rubber gloves and detergent to clean the dirty toilet and get rid of the pigeons. 

...and now, all boarded up!

Adam had his own room but the four of us dossed down together. It was grim.

When I'd taken the train to Leigh it had wound through rural countryside. This had given me a false impression. My descriptions to Jacky and the kids were all of a bucolic sea side village with olde worlde charm, because that's what I saw.

Leigh-on-sea

When we landed at Heathrow we hired a car to take us to Leigh. We quickly found out, as we drove along the A12, that we were in solid built up housing for miles. Jacky was peeved and it took about an hour of living in The Grand for her to start saying, I want to go home. Jade and Samantha were both sick and tired from the flight. Adam was tired and grumpy.

I needed some air, so I calmly went downstairs. Actually, Jacky's description of my 'storming off' is the more accurate of the two. My heart sunk as I headed out to buy us some dinner (pizzas) from the broadway. This adventure lark was gonna be a tougher sell than I'd expected!

Love and peace - Wozza

Love comes shinin' over the mountains, love comes shinin' over the sea (Jimi Hendrix)

Rambling Man (You may say I'm a dreamer - Chapter 10 part 3)

Happy days at Cambridge High School 2003

When Jacky dropped me off at Auckland Airport before my three week trip to London early in 2004, I promised I would come back with a job!!

Naively (you must have sensed a theme by now), I backed myself to travel to the opposite side of the globe for three weeks and find a job.

Acting Principal Purdy at CHS

BTW - I'm a much better traveller on my own, I worry when I fly with Jacky that if something happened, the kids would lose us both, but on my own I'm much more relaxed. Go figure.

I arrived in London and our friend Tina took me back to her place in Balham. At the time she was with a young kiwi guy - Paul. They were fun and extremely helpful. Their flat was a one bed so I dossed down on the lounge floor each night.

Before leaving Nu Zild I'd arranged appointments with three recruiting agencies. I was after a management position and so I also started ringing schools that had vacancies to arrange a visit to see the Headteacher. No luck - they each told me, it didn't work that way. If I was shortlisted, then I could visit - no good for me on my limited three week deadline!

Instead I went to the agencies. One was called Axcis and their office was in Regent Street. I found it and started chatting to a girl who was clearly a fellow Kiwi. We did the usual 'where are you from' routine. She said Hawke's Bay. I said - oh - my wife has links there - to Waipukurau. She said - that's where my family is. Wow, I said. We kept chatting and it turned out I'd sat next to her grandma during a 90th birthday party for Biddy Moore. Freak-eeeee!!

Like the other agencies, she said she had no jobs for me, but would send out my CV and see what happened.

For the next two weeks I did the London haunts (read record shops) and visited my lovely cousin, Christine, in Bury.  Tina, Paul and I took the train up to Manchester to see Rooney dive (we lost our streak). 

At night, back in Balham, I'd roll out my bedding on the lounge floor at Paul and Tina's. In the mornings, Jacky would text me and I'd report how things were going. I probably put a positive spin on things! 

Axcis got in touch. A Headteacher in Essex was willing to meet me. Wahoo!!! Finally, I'd get into a school to turn on my charm I thought (to myself).

Margaret Wilson is the inspirational human dynamo who leads The King John School in Thundersley, Benfleet, Essex. I took the C2C train out to Benfleet. After a lot of lovely scenic trip, with rural views (that included Hadleigh Castle), I walked to the school in Thundersley up a massive hill.

Margaret turned out to be a) a Glaswegian, b) very friendly and c) a fellow attendee at the previous year's Principal conference in Edinburgh. What a fluke. She had decided to meet me based on that coincidence and, while she told me there was no job yet, she would keep me in mind! 

She also said that she lived in Leigh-on-sea, that it was a lovely old fishing village, and I should go there and take a look.

Balham station

So I did. Back on the C2C train to the next station - Leigh-on-sea. After another walk up another big hill I emerged on the Broadway at Leigh and fell in love. It had a great feel and a great record shop - Fives. A great omen.

Feeling very positive, I got back on the train to London and subsequently, returned to New Zealand. 

I'd been home a week when Margaret rang from King John and offered me an Assistant Headteacher job. I said yes please and we started preparations for our huge move to Leigh-on-sea, Essex.

My faith had been rewarded; the next part of our ramblin' adventure was falling into place. 

Love and peace - Wozza

There's no discouragement shall make us once relent (School hymn, Woodford House)

Rambling Man (You may say I'm a dreamer - Chapter 10 part 2)

The Purdettes at Alpha Street

Elsewhere. Further out. Forward.

Recently, one of my students asked me if I'd ever moved to a school and regretted it.

My immediate answer was, "Nope". Then I corrected myself a bit - the first term or so at Waimea College was a tough adjustment, but then I loved it. The first half year at Woodford House was another instance of that.

So, no, I have never regretted a move forward, but I have regretted any collateral damage that happened to the family along the way.

Cambridge High School posed a whole new series of challenges which I also loved. This was where I washed up as Deputy Principal in 2000.

The Principal, Alison Annan, was a great boss and mentor for me. She's not for everyone - working for and with Alison was like having an ice bucket challenge every day. Some wouldn't like that, but it was exactly what I needed!

She made it clear in my interview that my children would be expected to go to the school as well. Hindsight is wonderful. Keegan hated that idea and I should have listened to him and fought his corner much more than I did. Suffice to say, Cambridge High School was not a happy place for him. Adam had a much better experience and Samantha loved having me at the school when she also started there.

The Barney dress

Jade meanwhile was sorting out the staff and fellow students at Cambridge Primary and then taking on Hautapu School. She thrived at both in her mature and self assured way.

While all this education was happening Jacky started work at Hamilton's Southern Cross hospital as a theatre nurse and then moved to Waikato Hospital in Cardiac Care.

Our Alpha Street house from 2000 to 2004 was quirky, cool, and large enough for us all to have our own spaces. I even had an office set up to tear my hair out on my UNITEC masters degree (in educational management). I had a computer set up and woe betide any child who messed with my set up!

We had chickens. We had a couple of sheep. We had lovebirds, in the outrageously amazingly wonderful aviary that I had built before leaving School House. We had cats - Persia and Lewis from our time in Nelson.

And, after Wynton, we had Bazil.

Samantha worked on me (with help from Jacky and Jade) for two years before I gave in and okayed her puppy present for her 13th birthday.

Grandad and grand daughters

And so Bazil - a border collie, arrived and would become a focal point for family love for evermore, until I had to take him to the vet last year for a final visit. By that stage he was old, deaf, night blind and in pain. It was still a terrifically hard thing to do.  Bazil was always Samantha's dog but he was a buddy to all of us. I sat with him and cried my eyes out before the vet put him to sleep.

Back at Alpha Street, though, Bazie was a puppy and a particularly messy, noisy pain in the ass puppy. The first few nights were horrible as he howled and whined from dusk till dawn.

Samantha was devoted to Bazil, teaching him a variety of tricks and eventually started his training. She created increasingly elaborate agility courses around the house. He loved doing those but otherwise, puppy training with Bazie was a disaster. Socialising with other dogs? Disaster. Walking on a leash? Disaster. Trying to 'work' sheep? Disaster.

And still, he became the coolest dog in the world. 

Whenever I went out to do chores around the farmlets we owned, Bazie was only ever a few metres away from me. Until his hearing went in old age, when he'd disappear after  the scent of a rabbit into the furtherest spot in a paddock (his appetite and sense of smell were always a constant).

Your sis-ter (Purdettes with Ma belle and Kerry Dix)

During our Alpha Street life Keegan finished his education via Correspondence School, and then moved out of our family home to go flatting with some friends from Cambridge High School.

During 2004, things at school started unravelling for Alison Annan and I decided to leave the school after she reneged on a promise she had made to me to resign and recommend me for the Headship. I'd now been to Scotland, visited my relatives in greater Manchester and fallen in love with English life.

We (Adam, Samantha, Jade, Jacky and me) decided as a family to leave Cambridge. We sold Alpha Street and moved to a rental (owned by Cambridge High School). I remember spreading out a giant map on New Zealand on a table there and we all wondered where we could go next.

We couldn't decide an anywhere. In the back of my brain I was thinking England. The family were okay with that so I sent off applications for senior management positions. I was shortlisted a few times, phone interviewed even, but ultimately - nothing came of it.

By now I was anything but daunted by the scale of what I was attempting. Instead, it was clear that I couldn't get a job from New Zealand. I would need to travel to England and front up in person.

So I did. 

When Jacky dropped me off at Auckland Airport before my three week trip to London, staying with friends Tina and Paul in Balham, I promised I would come back with a job!

Love and peace - Wozza 

I was born a ramblin' man (The Allman Brothers Band)

Rambling Man (You may say I'm a dreamer - Chapter 10 part 1)

Here's to the Purdettes

By now it should have become clear that I'm a rambling man:

Lord, I was born a ramblin' man,
Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can.
And when it's time for leavin',
I hope you'll understand,
That I was born a ramblin' man.

(The Allman Brothers Band)

Up to age 15 I 'd pretty much lived in the one house in Royal Oak. Up to leaving for my first job in New Plymouth I'd only lived in Auckland. My parents' marriage was solid for all of those years. On the surface - it's a very stable background.

But really - all of our lives are divided into chunks. I loved Royal Oak Primary, but I left for two years of Manukau Intermediate. I loved MAGS but after 6 years of that I went to Auckland University. I loved that but after 5 years went to teachers' college. And so on. I loved Macleans College but left to find adventure in Nelson. 

We managed to amass a (nearly) five year stint in Nelson. These were happy times - enjoying time at Waimea College and with our friends in Spring Grove and Jackett's Island (off Motueka).

By 1994, though, a few things conspired to make us think we needed to leave Nelson.

Along the way, we'd decided to move from Lord Auckland Road. Jacky's 'asthma' reactions were attributed to the pine pollens all around us in Wakefield. We looked at places in Brightwater, 88 Valley and Hope, but in the end Jacky found an old villa she loved and she bought it (I trusted her and went for a look after the deal was done - she was right - it was great).

Only trouble - it was in Wakefield, a few streets from where we'd been before. Ha ha...ha.

The rock steady crew in Whitby Road

The 'asthma' didn't stop at this place (on Whitby Road), in fact, it got worse. The use of quote marks on asthma is because we later found that Jacky was experiencing respiratory complaints not linked to asthma - at the time though all the GP's we saw prescribed steroids in the hope it would help.

Meanwhile, we again set about improving the house - painting the outside and fixing up the grounds. Along the way I fell off the roof and injured myself and Samantha with some dodgy scaffolding arrangement. No harm no foul. Oh and Jade got 'sumfing in her boomat!'

With Leda's awesome  birthday cake

The other mitigating factor in our decision to ramble once more was Jacky's decision to retrain as a nurse/midwife. 

After getting some tuition from a local GP and picking up senior school biology and chemistry, she was determined to get a qualification. 

She had been a stay home mum since 1984, ten years ago, and I can really understand why this was so important to her. In terms of new locations, this meant either Dunedin or Auckland.

A job came up for me at Mount Albert Grammar for 1995, leading the English department, and so, back to my old school I went.

In classic moves that have been replicated often since, I flew up to Auckland for a weekend to find us all a suitable house. Which I did. In Glenfield, on the north shore.

The kids headed off to new schools, I battled the bridge traffic each day, and Jacky took a job at a rest home while also going to UNITEC to study for her nursing degree. Phew. Life got hectic fast. Naturally, we were both exhausted. 

School House! 
(BTW - Dining room is named after Kel White)

Luckily some respite came when a job as Senior Housemaster came up at Mt Albert Grammar's boarding hostel for 100 boys, called School House. It would mean working two big jobs - Head of English and Senior Housemaster but what the heck.

Now Jacky had to commute across the bridge - she'd moved her studies to AUT on the shore, but her days were easier, even though she took a job as Matron at School House.

This all worked out well. The kids headed to new schools - Gladstone Primary and Kowhai Intermediate, and Jacky completed her Bachelor of Health Science degree. What a feat. Raising four children, working as Matron, putting up with our 24/7 hostel life, AND getting her degree. Amazing.

Of course, there were some sticky moments along the way - frustrations, tantrums, and lots of ripped up paper that is thrown around the room, is the life of any student, but she battled through and got her degree.

Now it was time to get a nursing job. But wait. After four years of being in charge of School House (and a record FIVE years at one school) I also needed some further stimulation and challenge. 

I wanted to be a Principal. But first I had to get a Deputy Principal position. That wasn't happening at MAGS, so at the end of 1999, I looked elsewhere.

Love and peace - Wozza

They say it's your birthday (The Beatles)

Huge happy birthday to DLG - seen here rockin' the bob with Mr Gutsy - for the twenty-eighth!

Bring back the bob!!

Jade

Family Man (You may say I'm a dreamer - Chapter 9 part 5 and last)

The Fantastic Four are now complete!

It's just after one in the morning in ward 5 at Nelson Hospital. Right now, it's the twenty-eighth of November, 1991. I've just helped our good friend Stephanie Borlase AND the doctor, who is supposed to be delivering our new baby, out (yes - OUT) of the delivery room.

Both succumb to the heat in the room and faint! In turn, they get the wobbles, slurry speech and collapse into my (massive manly) arms. Everyone else in the room is pretty busy - Jacky especially.  So I've been asked to help the faintees outside. 

Around 1.20am, I have returned to Jacky's bedside in time to welcome, five minutes later, at precisely 1.25am, Jade Michelle Purdy to Nelson, New Zealand, and the world.

I am briefly allowed to hold Jade in my hands - she is tiny and pretty much fits in my left hand, legs dangling over my watch.

Godmum Steph with Jade

It IS hot in the room. The incubator has been wheeled in because Jade is making a dramatic entrance thanks to being premature and the heat in the room has been cranked up. Yes Steph, cranked up A LOT. 

At 1.26am Jade is quickly transferred to the incubator and I am again overwhelmed by the drama of the moment. BUT I have the doctor and Steph to check on. They are most embarrassed by events but I don't mind - it's given me something to remind Steph about for the last 25 years!

The v word can strike fear into any virile young male. When Jacky started bandying round the v word after Samantha came along, I had doubts.

Growing up with only one brother was sometimes tough for me; I would have loved to have had a couple of sisters. So, although I wasn't necessarily looking  for another addition to our brood, I was only in my early thirties and, who knew? Once it's done, it's done.

Your sis-ter!

On the other hand I'd watched and worried through three pregnancies so far and, let me tell you, it's a stressful experience for everyone concerned. There's the worry that something will go wrong for some looong months, and always the knowledge that a painful day is approaching for the new mother.

I was at school when the call came from Steph in May 1991. 

Waimea College, where I was now Head of English, was 15 minutes drive from our home in Wakefield. This being the little town where Keegan and then Adam were going to school, where our friends the Sivaks and the Borlases lived.

The Borlases had become good friends really quickly! Still, I was a little surprised to get a call at school from Steph. For some reason, I was in the main office area of the admin corridor at the time.

A routine test had returned a positive result and we were going to be a mummy and daddy for a fourth time! 

The first few months of the new pregnancy were difficult. We knew that having four children was really going to stretch us financially and in other ways. 

The day to day hand combat with four children places many stresses on a relationship. Many compromises need to be made, many of them are never articulated. You just do it!

We had developed an instinctive knowledge of how to support each other. We were very young parents for Keegan - in many ways just kids ourselves and the marriage was not yet even ten years old and we had four children!

Both of us had had to grow up fast to the responsibilities of being parents. In a way, it was a great thing. We were in this thing together and we had to make it work. There was no other option.

Big brother tries to establish order

Financially, we had it tough - living in a shoebox int middle of road was hard. Houses needed to be a certain size now and, yet again, we needed  a bigger car. I'd started out with a mini, then mum's old Chevette (Keegan and Adam), on to a Holden station wagon (Samantha). Now we traded that in and bought a Ford Econovan to ferry the six of us around Nelson.

As to the name - again, we were sure it was a boy so, again, we had Ethan William Purdy all ready to go! Again we were surprised when a baby girl emerged.  Yes, yes, we CAN be slow learners at times. However, in contrast to Samantha, we settled quickly on Jade - a one syllable name, and Michelle was for Jacky's kid sister.

Luckily, Jade proved herself to be Keegan's equal as a baby, rather than a hellion child like Samantha. Right from the start, our new little bundle of joy was mature and self-assured. She quickly established her presence around the house and her charmingly delightful little smile got her out of a lot of potentially sticky moments.

Mawwwww

Jade's arrival also brought balance to the force. Having two boys, then two girls had a nice symmetry and Jade was able to establish tight relationships with all three siblings. 

In many ways, along with Jacky, she is the glue that holds us together, keeps us honest and keeps us linked as a family, even when we are so spread out geographically. When someone steps out of line - Jade steps in. This figures. When young we called her Nana Jade, or mini-mum, and the expression 'Jade knows all without seeing' became a thing.

Much later, when I was in charge of day relief at one of my schools I told the staff to only give a message to Jade if they couldn't get me. She was about 9 at the time!

Jacky and the Purdettes

The family was now complete - this part of my journey was over, so that meant time for that traumatic snip snip in June of 1992. 

My final paragraph to the original autobiography ended with my declaration that I had lived my first 34 years proud and true and strong as a Purdy and with a hope that what my children read about themselves would put their own place in the Purdy family into clearer perspective.

Now that I'm 59, I hope that's still true.

Love and peace - Abu Keegan, Abu Adam, Abu Samantha, Abu Jade.

Samantha

Family Man (You may say I'm a dreamer - Chapter 9 part 4)

Getting to be a handful! We're in New Plymouth
for Samantha's baptism. The boys look cool while
Fanfa gives controversial rock on salute!

During our 1988 August holidays, as we drove along the National Park road from Taupo to Mt. Ruapehu nudged just behind Roger and Deirdre Marbeck's car, both of us part of a long trail of cars, with Adam and Keegan in the back seat, Jacky and I had time for a lengthy and deep conversation.

Samantha Mary Purdy owes her existence to that conversation.

We had just shared a holiday in Taupo at dad's holiday home with the Marbecks and we were all now on our way to see the snow.

SMP: obstreperous!

As we drove, I told Jacky about my thoughts concerning reliving my father's life - two sons, two years apart. And I wondered aloud about trying for a third, a daughter maybe. What about that?

Jacky was adamant (no pun intended) that two was enough and Adam was going to be our last. Both births were pretty fresh in her memory and she'd been at home now for four years looking after the boys while I worked at Macleans College. As we drove along we continued to talk and Jacky started softening her stance and, eventually, agreed that it was actually a pretty cool idea.

SMP with her Godparents:
Greg and Liz Lester.

We returned home to Dornwell Road, Three Kings, and had only just told our friends and family of our decision (to a generally damp set of reactions it must be said), when Jacky found she was 'with child' for the third time. We were both delighted and excited and a little pissed off that no one else seemed to share our joy. Oh well. We were off on another chapter of our great married adventure.

Our initial planning aimed at an August birth during the school holidays. Ha ha ha! The speed of conception meant that the new baby was due around the May holidays of 1989 instead.

As the pregnancy continued we were both convinced that another boy was coming, and we wanted a name early this time. We decided on Ethan William Purdy, the second name for my great grandfather. We didn't waste any time thinking about a girl's name. No point - there hadn't been a female baby in our Purdy line for about five generations (plus Michelle had two sons, as did Ross).

Who says Patrick doesn't get children?
He's a natural!

For a second time, we headed into National Women's on May 15 for our third child's birth. At 2.59 the next morning we had a really huge surprise! It's a girl!!

And we had no name for her! For a week we tried out dozens of names for 'baby Purdy'. We couldn't agree. I liked Charlotte or Claire but Jacky didn't. She liked names that I didn't think were right. We argued our cases but all suggestions were vetoed.

Visiting Grandad Brian in
New Plymouth.

I was particularly keen for either a three or one syllable name. We had Kee-gan and Ad-am. I wanted something different this time. And maybe a name that could be shortened.

Finally, we agreed on Samantha and Mary for a second name - that bit was easy peasy, being both of our mothers' middle names.

Keegan arrived at 7.21pm, Adam at 10.28am - both pretty reasonable times. Trust Samantha to be awkward and arrive in the pitch dark, three weeks early, on a terrible rainy morning.

Although she looked like a little angel, the manner of her arrival set the pattern for the coming loooong months - obstreperous being the kindest and most appropriate adjective that I can think of for her. In case you were wondering, it means noisy and difficult to control!

Note the prep for the
coming distribution of food.
Everything wound up on
the floor, so, bring the
floor to her! 

For the next 14 months (Fourteen. Months.) Samantha refused point blank to sleep through the night, take food or liquids normally, or in any way follow Keegan's example as a baby. 

Adam had been a slightly harder baby than Keegan but neither had prepared us for Samantha, the game changer.

Three children meant work. Plain and simple - little romance of any variety - just endless sleepless nights, a daily grind of dirty nappies, noise, children's squabbles, and stress!

Circumstances dictated this to some extent. Our Dornwell Road house had a very cold third bedroom, so we were forced, in those early winter months of Samantha's life, to keep her in our room. We paid the price, Oh boy, did we!

In the midst of this 14 months of hell, the start of 1990 coincided with our decision to move to Nelson for my career. We have never lived boring lives!

Although I loved Macleans, I was starting to love it too much, and the road to promotion wasn't looking possible, so, after a phone interview, I was given an assistant Head of English job at Waimea College.

Our family of five was on the move! Forward! To the South Island!

Jacky and I flew down to see the school and buy a house. It's okay - we had given ourselves a long weekend. No sweat! 

On our third day there, I found our new house in the window of a realty company in Richmond and we bought it. Simple!

I loved our Lord Auckland Road house. It had bags of room for the five of us, a great outlook on farm land and a ridge of pine trees, and a log cabin feel. Awesome!

Even better, thanks to Jacky, we met a young couple like us - Stephanie and Duncan Borlase, in a street close by and the Sivak family moved in next door. The Borlases became our new Marbecks - a family we did loads of things with. Their two children, Teri and Steve, grew up with ours. 

The Sivaks came from Warren County, Pennsylvania, and Annette was my first appointment as HOD English at Waimean College. Their three children were super talented and great fun. Keegan and Luke were similar ages and they hit it off big time.

Soon 1991 rolled around and Jacky had some more news for me...

Love and peace - Abu Keegan, Abu Adam, Abu Samantha