It's a family affair (Sly and the Family Stone)

Wie geht's?

Part two of some recent snaps from the whanau get together at Maple Grove, Palmerston North and Wellington. Special times with a special bunch of people. Warning - super cute geekids ahead!

Love and peace - WNP

Happy anniversary baby, got you on my mind (Little River Band)

Happy birthday Dulcie! (Photo credit: Graham Purdy)

Wie geht's?

Quite a few April anniversaries happen that need some commentary. 

There are plenty of happy occasions to celebrate. We've had my parents wedding anniversary (on the 18th in 1953), Jacky and my wedding anniversary (on the 21st in 1984), and mum's birthday (on the 23rd in 1930).

There are also two losses of life anniversaries in April: Lucy Adsett, a.k.a Ma (on the 3rd in 1974) and our dear friend - Margo Buchanan-Oliver (on the 25th in 2018).

I know these are just names and dates to the blogosphere, and that a lot of others celebrate their own anniversaries as they come up but clearly without Lucy and her daughter Dulcie Adsett and then her wedding to the strapping young pharmacist Graham Purdy, you would not be reading this, because I would not exist.

That's a huge debt of gratitude I owe all three.

That Earth-shattering event in 1984 also means that our four children exist and consequently, our four grandchildren also exist. So, I think you'll agree, that one is worth a massive celebration as well.

Love and peace - WNP

They say it's your birthday (The Beatles)

Wie geht's?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm mmmmm mmm? (The Beatles)

Four and a half years ago I used the same line for myself, now it's JFP's turn.

Join with me in a huge rendition of Happy Birthday to Jacky today from all the fandamly and friends around the planet.

Love and peace - Woz

Further on in the game, waiting up till the children came. Place your bets, no regrets. We got married (Paul McCartney)

Nearly twenty years ago (2007)

Wie geht's?

Part one ended at April 21st, 2004. From then until 2007 we lived in Leigh-on-sea, an old picturesque fishing village in Essex. Victoria Road holds many memories: foxes destroying rubbish bags at night; Jade inconsolable when Adam returned to NZ; Jacky and the girls dancing in the snow; walking to the train station; walks to Rayleigh Castle; the 30 second walk to the Broadway for Costcutters, Fives, and the pet store. I loved Victoria Road.  

At the start of 2007 we returned to NZ, in time for me to start at Stratford High School, while Jacky worked at Taranaki Base Hospital.

Having lived, worked, and had many adventures in Qatar, The UAE, and China, we were, by April 21st, 2014 back living again in Hawke's Bay - Otane to be specific. I was working at Woodford House, Jacky was at Hastings' Hospital.

Keegan, Adam, Samantha, and Jade were now in their twenties and all grown up. Yes - we were now empty nesters! It's a strange feeling. We'd spent twenty years as a family of six living together, and now the kids were no longer kids. They were now busy living their own lives, without needing us in the same way. As I said, it's a strange feeling.

The photo from that time, taken during a tour of The Emirates stadium, implies we were still in the UK but we'd flown back for a holiday while living in Otane.

OngaOnga, April 2024.

That brings us bang up to date - April 21st, 2024. After a stint in Maungaturoto and Caterham (Surrey), we now find ourselves living in Central Hawke's Bay. I work for OneSchool Global and Jacky is at Hastings' Hospital again.

As for the rock steady Purdy crew: Keegan lives in China; Adam lives in Melbourne with his wife Ashleigh and their daughter - Poppy; Samantha is in Los Angeles with her partner, Andrew;  Jade is in Palmerston North with her son Asher and her partner Chris.

Living their lives.

Jacky and I head into our 5th decade together with an eye for fresh adventures. Things like retirement will eventually have to be considered. But not yet.

Love and peace - Wozza/WNP/dad/Abu Keegan/El Presidente (Greg and Kev will understand)

I would like you to dance (The Beatles)

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

A brief pause before I get to our second twenty years together, a quick post to celebrate Jacky's birthday this week (even though she didn't want one, it has to be done).

No embarrassing photos, no gushy sentimentality, I promise.

Instead, a short clip from The Beatles!

Love, now and forever - W

Just as well love was all we ever wanted, It was all we ever had (Paul McCartney)

Off on our mystery ride, 1984.

Wie gehts?

Welcome to the first of a two-parter to commemorate our ruby wedding anniversary. First part takes in the first 20 years from 1984 to 2004.

April 21, 1984 has been the subject of a few posts over the years. Brief summary - the two of us lived at 31C Lorna Street in New Plymouth. There were no children yet. Doesn't seem real in many ways.

I was into my second year of teaching at New Plymouth Boys' High School, Jacky was modelling and working for Whites Department Store in New Plymouth.

Our first decade saw us up to our elbows in dirty nappies - literally. It was one after another until four sproglettes invaded our space. So, it was a decade of sleepless nights, single income struggles, cloth nappy rotation (if disposal nappies were around we never used them - crazy but our belts were tight. Good thing we were both skinny to start with), and vehicle upgrades.

When I first met Jacky, I drove an orange Mini. We'd moved from that to inheriting mum's Chevette, then buying a station wagon and by 1994 we needed a white Ford van. We had bench seats fitted so that we could fit our family of six aboard. This was also useful when we added Annette Sivak and her two kids to the car-pool into work while living in Wakefield.

Second decade, still smiling!

Our second decade April 21st, 1994 - 2004 and our four millennials had joined us in Wakefield, in the South Island of NZ: Keegan 9; Adam 7; Samantha nearly 5; Jade 2.

During that first decade I'd gained a promotion after working at Macleans College in Auckland. So, we'd moved to Nelson for me to work at Waimea College. After ten years of babies, babies, and more babies Jacky was thinking about retraining as a nurse. Fair enough! We'd soon be on the move - back to Auckland.

We had made some great friends in Nelson and had some terrific holidays with them and our old Auckland friends. In terms of parenting, we were all flying the plane while building it. The kids were about to turn into teenagers - were we prepared? Were we eck as like!

Embarking on our third decade in the UK, 2004

On our 20th anniversary, April 21st, 2004, we were living at Alpha St in Cambridge, but after our trip to Edinburgh in 2003 we were keen to move to the UK. Leigh-on-sea in England (Victoria Road to be precise) would become our home by the end of 2004. Keegan was now studying at Waikato University, Adam and Samantha were at Cambridge High School, Jade was about to start secondary school.

So, at the time, it seemed an ideal opportunity for a gigantic upheaval. We sold up pretty much everything and set sail for blighty with a suitcase each. I soon found that shedding a skin is a fine abstract idea but it gets messy in practical terms.

As soon as we landed, half the family wanted to go 'back home'.

In the UK I began work at The King John School in Benfleet and Jacky was a nurse at a variety of London hospitals.

Our third decade ahead had plenty of challenges but we managed our way through them together. Somehow.

Next up - the second part taking in 2004 to 2024.

Love and peace - Wozza

We can't chase after time but we can see clearly the value of life from it (Hsing Yun)

Love birds

Wie geht's?

April again. That means all those anniversaries pop up with startling regularity. Long standing readers will remember a variety of posts over the years in April that celebrate our family weddings. Here's last year's version frinstance.

I think I've used a great passage from 266 Days With Wisdom for the 21st of April before - that date happens to be our 39th wedding anniversary.

It bears repeating:

Anything of value should not be temporary; it should last into the future. Anything of value should not depend on superficial factors; it should be realized from the depth of the heart.

Love and peace and happy anniversary baby - Woz

If the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility (Christopher Cross)

Wie geht's?

You find us in Taupo celebrating Jacky's latest completion of a tour around the sun - officially that happened on April 14, but a big shout out to the birthday girl!!

We've had a great stay and shared the celebration with Michelle and Gav. 

One of the highlights - a lovely trip on the Ernest Kemp  (above, with a view of the mountains along the way) to see  Ngātoro-i-rangi - a carving made in the rock face around the lake - only accessible by sea.

Worth including on your list for visiting one of my favourite places on the planet, let along Nu Zild. So many memories here.

As I said to Ma Belle - would be fun to do a time lapse of the last 60 years' Huka Falls visits from first times with my parents and Ross through to my own children to now. Scenery wouldn't change much right? But I'd go from child to grandad before your eyes!

Love and peace - Wozza

Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain (Gerry Marsden)

Tukituki River on the right.

Wie geht's?

The joy of walking has been a topic for me a few times before.

The study break has given me a great opportunity to walk with Jacky. I cherish those moments.

At work, I walk around the Hastings' Mitre 10 Sports' Park each lunchtime. Or, at least, that's my aim, weather and meetings allowing. I enjoy that - it's a chance to appreciate life while taking a break from work and getting exercise. My current record is 21 minutes around the park. But it's no where as good as walking with Jacky.

Paradoxically, living in the country doesn't allow for much walking. Generally, roadsides are dangerous with cars travelling at speed, and there are often no tracks or footpaths. We do walk to the local Four Square in Takapau but that's not very far away and various dogs line the route.

So, most days during the break we have driven the 12 minutes to Waipukarau to use the walking/cycling track beside the river. We've tried both directions and settled on a 30 minute there and back to the area by the recycling centre. 

Our pace matches well, although Jacky can walk faster than I can. Her top speed is my slow jog! So, like much in life (and marriage), we compromise and settle into a great rhythm and zip along nicely. 

With the study break now finished, it's back to lunch time walks and the cross trainer when I can, until December.

But, I'll miss our daily walks.

Love and peace - Wozza

Women hold up half the sky (Mao Zedong)

DMP with her bridesmaids
- Nita far left on April 18th 1953.

Wie geht's?

I've been celebrating having three amazingly brilliant women in my life over three days this week (two of them in that photo above).

Nothing else seems more important this week in Wozza's World than acknowledging them and their influence.

Amazing woman #1 - April 21st, 1984, was our 38th wedding anniversary. As a friend said recently - Jacky deserves a medal (maybe next year).  

JFP -April 21, 1984

Amazing woman #2 - April 22nd was my stepmother's birthday. Nita Purdy passed away last year. Dad's second wife was a good friend of my mum's (as that photo indicates) and a terrific grandmother style presence in our family.

Amazing woman #3 - April 23rd, 1930, was my mother's birthday - she would have turned 92. That's up there, but these days, it also isn't really, is it.

Medical science has made huge gains in the last 40 years and no doubt will do so throughout the next 40 years. All of which is a pinprick in time, is it not. 

Love/peace and may God bless them all - now and forever - WNP

Well I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone, wherever we're together, that's my home (Billy Joel)

The heart of Wozza's world.

Wie geht's?

The 14th of April has a golden glow around it.

Back in 1962, a beautiful baby girl was born. She grew up to be a beautiful woman. And she married a...(ahem, sorry, I digress).

In fact, she grew up to be the nicest person I have ever met. Not just 'a nice person' but unequivocally - the nicest (and that's a high bar, because I have come across many really nice people in my travels).

For two thirds of her life, she has been my best girl by my side and the pleasure, the privilege is mine.

So, raise a glass with me and celebrate this gorgeous girl - and wish a very happy birthday to the great Mrs Purdy.

Love and peace - WNP

The world you see is different from the one I see, and it's mpossible to share your world with anyone else (Ichiro kishimi)

Photo by Andrew Charney on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

Wabi Sabi is a phrase that Jacky is getting a tad tired of hearing as we repaint and decorate half of Maple Grove (we've now moved on to the bathrooms and back entrance hallways).

Wabi Sabi (subtitled - the wisdom in imperfection) by Nobuo Suzuki was a Christmas gift from Jade and it has provided some wisdom as we sand and paint.

Wabi Sabi is a phrase that encompasses the idea that everything is impermanent - everything is in a continual state of flux and if we go against the flow, we will suffer. So we need to accept it.

I am quite happy to enjoy the imperfections in the walls and windows - some of which date back 120 years. For me, they provide character and are a very visual reminder of wabi sabi.

Jacky, it's fair to say, does not embrace that attitude. At all. For her - only dead fish go with the flow.

Imperfect is not something she can bring herself to live with (although she does keep hanging out with me!). So, a lot of the time, she points out the shoddy job that others have done before us and she chaffs against the idea that she can't fix those imperfections. She suffers.

And she suffers even more when I say...wabi sabi.

Love and peace - Wozza

Well, I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone, wherever we're together, that's my home (Billy Joel)

21st April 2021 at Nola's Cafe in Waipawa

Wie geht's?

Birthdays of friends and family (Jeanette, Jacky, Sallie, Nita) and anniversaries come thick and fast in April each year and so, naturally, I write about them a lot when they roll around (just use the search in the column next door and you'll see what I mean).

Here's a summary of the anniversaries:

• April 3 - My grandmother (Ma) 's death in 1974
• April 9 - My brother's wedding to Lynda in 1988
• April 18 - My parents' wedding in 1953
• April 21 - Jacky and Wozza's wedding in 1984
• April 23 - My mum (Dulcie) 's birth in 1930
• April 25 - Margo's death in 2018

Anniversaries are curious things. We all have these personal signposts/markers of notable events in our lives.

If I overlayed anniversaries from history then mine would become invisible, however, my personal collection of anniversaries mean more to me than anyone else and certainly more than any historic ones (April 3 was also when Edward the Confessor was crowned King of England in 1043... see what I mean?) 

Happy anniversary Jacky and thanks for the past 37 years for allowing me the pleasure, the privilege of being your husband.

Love and peace - Wozza

If they make Tony Adams captain we could all go screaming in the park (Joe Strummer)

In one of my happy places

Wie geht's?

For the most part, I'm a happy sort of bloke. A colleague and I were discussing happiness recently and she offered to lend me some of Gretchen Rubin's books.

These are The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies (which I'll write about in the Baggy Trewsers blog).

Why am I generally a happy bloke? 

According to current research cited in Gretchen's book - its mainly about your genetics, so I have my parents to thank for 50% of my predelection for happiness (age, gender, ethnity, marriage status, income, health, occupation, religious affiliation make up to 20% and the other 30% is a product of how I think and act).

So thanks to Dulcie and Graham, Jacky Purdy (she's beautiful inside and out), and me - I'm a happy bloke. 

It also helps that I'm a teacher on a good wage who lives on a few acres in the country with no neighbours to speak of.

I'm pretty sure my other 30% comes from my love of music (15%) and English (reading and writing - 15%).

Here are the things that are currently adding to my happiness:

• It's autumn (I LOVE autumn) and we had our first frost yesterday (so good!)
• Music and reading (on the day I wrote this post I finished a Desmond Bagley adventure story, started another Anne Tyler novel, dipped a toe into The Happiness Project while listening to Brand X albums in the warmth of our Garden Room while the dogs slept at my feet)
• Writing (I worked on some posts to four of my blogs)
• I enjoy menial tasks like hanging out washing, picking up horse poo, baiting rat traps (rats don't like winter so they start casting around for some warmer lodgings)
• Following Arsenal F.C. - we play Liverpool overnight so I'm forever hopeful (if they lose I'll be momentarily less happy)
• Looking at my record collection and posting photos on the Facebook vinyl group I belong to (the Brand X live album is great so I needed to share that today)
• Listening to MNAC albums and writing about them (Herman Dune was the latest band I never would have discovered without Alex, Lew and Tom's input) 
• Seinfeld (the show - it figures in my daily life in many ways - quotes come to mind and Pinterest groups have stills that instantly make me smile)
• The Beatles posters in my music room (as well as my other decorations in there - they bring me joy everytime)
• Watching Asher interact with his mum and us (Papa and Mema) is a real source of happiness!

Love and peace - Wozza

Trigger (Trigger) and he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west (Benny Hill)

Trigger looks big here, but he only comes up to my waist.

Wie geht's?

Covid-19 lockdowns have had one very positive spin-off for our family: the weekly family zooms that we started a year ago (thanks to Adam's suggestion) during our alert level 3 and 4 lockdowns have continued long after the alert levels returned to 2 and then 1. And they are still going strong.

So, each Sunday evening Jade and Asher (in Palmerston North), Samantha (in LA or SF with Jesse),  Keegan (in Shanghai) and Adam and Ashleigh (in Melbourne) have joined up with Jacky and me (in Takapau) for a weekly catch up.

It's been great, and has certainly brought our far-flung little band of Purdettes a lot closer together, figuratively speaking.

Hot topic this weekend was Trigger - the little pony that Jacky and I have bought for Asher, nearly 2, to ride.

Trigger naturally suffers from little man syndrome

He's certainly got personality!

See - I told you - comes up to my waist, just!

On the search for more apples!

The kids maintain this is another très subtle attempt to interest her children/grand-children in horses, but Jacky disputes this. Natch. 

Wherever the truth may lie, Jacky has plans to find a cart for Trigger to pull around so that he can pay his way while Asher and I pick up pine cones for Trigger to pull back to the barn.

That should be a hoot! I can't wait.

Love and peace - Wozza

Remember when you were a little kid, what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend (Jerry Seinfeld)

Patrick, Randy, Jacky and Wozza hit Taupo

Wie geht's?

Jerry Seinfeld's bit about your real friends came to mind during the weekend as Jacky and I spent quality time with some old friends at Maple Grove and then Taupo (where that selfie was taken).

When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're not interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food. They don't know the activities. If I meet a guy in a club or the gym or someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of potential, but we're just not hiring right now.

To paraphrase writer Alex Williams - up to your 50s and 60s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, your wife's friends, your children's friends/partners and their families and, of course, Facebook. But actual close friends — the kind you make at school, university and in your twenties, the kind you call in a crisis — those are in shorter supply. 

That's very true. Patrick and Randy - thanks for a great spontaneous weekend!

Love and peace - Wozza

Her hot-spot love for me is strong. This freeze-frame moment can't be wrong (J Geils band)

Wie geht's?

Our brother-in-law, Gavin O'Neill, recently gave Jacky this exquisitely ornate picture frame (with no picture inside).

That created a dilly of a pickle for us. 

We wanted/needed something special in such a great frame. 

We tried a number of water colour and oil paintings, even a wedding photo of my mum and dad, but Jacky wasn't content.

Instead, she mentioned jokingly a few times that a photo I took of her once upon a time at The Victoria and Albert Museum, would look cool.

The idea at the V&A was that you stepped behind a frame and it would reproduce a kind of Victorian era image in the style of Julia Margaret Cameron which you could then photograph. 

Here are our efforts:  

As a joke I printed off my picture of Jacky and stuck it in the said frame.

And it looks terrific! It immediately reminds us of that great trip to London's V&A as well.

So it's a keeper!

Love and peace - Wozza

I'm a boy, I'm a boy (The Who)

Keegan, minus 36 years

Wie geht's?

The 19th of December, which is coming up, is our oldest's birthday. Happy birthday Keegan! Here's a revisit to his origin story.

But really the day is more about me and Jacky, right?

That origin story misses out a crucial bit that tells you a lot about us, where, getting on dinner time on the 19th, Jacky - dozy with labour pain and then relaxed by epidural but mindful that Purdy's need regular food, said that I should go and have something to eat.

So I did. I hopped in the car, which was parked in the Taranaki Base Hospital carpark by maternity, and drove to McDonalds for a Big Mac combo; drove back to the maternity wing steps and ate my dinner there; walked up the stairs just in time to find Keegan was finally ready to launch himself on our world.

The rest is history.

Love and peace - Abu Keegan

We are family, get up everybody and sing (Sister Sledge)

Star of the show: Irene Purdy

Wie geht's?

Nine years ago, in August 2011, Jacky and I took a trip from Al Ain to the UK for Irene Purdy's 90th birthday celebrations.

Yes, you're right - that means Irene's 100th is just around the corner! Covid permitting, we aim to be back to Bury for that one as well.

While there, we loved catching up with my northern hemisphere relatives and, afterwards, going on a road trip to the Lake District, and back to London via Yorkshire and Castle Howard. More to come of the road trip in the next few posts. 

In the bosom of the family

Jacky and Christine's Samantha

The Kirkham Three

 

Next post: that beautiful spot by Lake Grasmere where William Wordsworth lived with his sister, Dorothy.

Love and peace - WNP