Ooh - ooh ain't it good for you. My own home recipe will see you through (Traffic)

Photo by Myles Tan on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

Part 4: What are the patterns I picked up in childhood?

[A pattern is when things happen or appear in a repeated order that you can notice and predict; childhood is roughly the time before puberty]

In many ways the patterns I picked up on before teenagerhood are still with me. That's because they resulted in a couple of epiphanies that came along during that time. They provided the path I have been following ever since.

The patterns have their bedrock in life with my parents and brother at 18 Korma Ave. There were loads of books around, there were loads of records around, we were early adopters of mass media, and technology (dad built our first TV). 

I had a few close friends but I was also reserved as far as that went. There were the usual birthday parties with friends from school or football and my parents friends but no one person stuck until I was a teenager.

Family patterns were set early too. My brother and I were close in those childhood years and we lived in a peaceful, calm house. Our parents clearly loved each other (if there were disagreements, I never heard them). Feelings of trust and gullibility came from this environment. I was closer to mum than dad during these years. I have many of her traits and Ross is a lot like dad with his skills and attributes. That's simplistic, I know, but it's how I see it.

My childhood included many visits to my three grandparents' homes but they seldom came to ours. We were close to mum's Adsett family because she was close to her brothers but we had little to do with the extended Purdy family. I didn't even know about them until my twenties. I don't really know why it was like that.

As a result, I read a lot of comics and books (Marvel and DC, Look & Learn, Shoot and Goal), watched a lot of Television, listened to a lot of music on the radio, played a lot of sport - not just football and tennis but loads of other things like swimming (we had a pool), softball, cricket, singing (I was in the choir at Royal Oak Primary), art (I loved to draw), table tennis and I even played a game of rugby when they were short. I was good at sport and sport was good for me.

Traumas in childhood were few. I pulled a boiling kettle onto myself when I was two. I have the scar on my ankle where the drip was attached but no memory of it - just what mum told me. A large, loud, terrifying pig dog frightened me as mum walked me home along Pah Rd - leading to my deep distrust of dogs. Returning to Auckland from a Sydney holiday, we had a flight that hit really bad turbulence (so bad Ross and I still remember the sensation). That has led to a lifetime of nervous flying.

These patterns led to three key childhood life changing epiphanies :

• Epiphany 1 - At age four I fell in love in love with football.
• Epiphany 2 - Watching The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show.
• Epiphany 3 - Deciding on a career as a teacher when I was 12.

Love and peace - Wozza

The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand (Irene C. Kassorla)

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

Part 3 - What do I like? What do I hate?

I kind of balked at this question in Ryan Holiday's book. I dislike a few things, but I don't hate anything. 

[That Star Wars thing. Yoda points out that "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."]

I've written about my likes before here. If you can't be bothered reading that post here is the Readers' Digest version:

• They fit into various categories like sport: Arsenal F.C.; Rochdale; Pitsburgh Steelers; the All Blacks.
• Music: The Beatles is the obvious one but I am a completist for a large number of artists and labels.
• Films: again Star Wars is obvious but there are many others like Once,
• Books: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is calling me for a fifth read through.
• Ephemera: The 'I love...' list at the back of my 2005 journal written while living in England summarises things I'd written about during the year:
• The weather
• The Houses
• 28 Victoria Road, Leigh-on-sea
• Scottish borders
• The trains
• The underground
• People (staff) at school - King John
• The Guardian newspaper
• The Times
• Weather forecasts
• Snow
• Walking - Southend/Hadleigh Castle/ Hockley Woods
• Leigh-on-sea shops at night
• London sun
• Fopp
• Picking one at random - here's an excerpt from 2 January about the Scottish borders:
• The border area remains a real favourite of mine. We stopped at the English/Scottish border - huge winter winds/ a rain shower and gathering gloom from impending night and the mists made this a real highlight! I can't help it. I much prefer autumn and winter to the heat of summer. Gloomy days and early darkness have a lot of appeal. Particularly when allied to the warmth of English houses and pubs.

Much like everyone, I'm multi-faceted and full of contradictions. But I know what I like.

Love and peace - Wozza

Remember, one man's ceiling is another man's floor (Paul Simon)

Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

So, here we are, as promised - this one is about my flaws. I said I'd limit it to the top 100, but let's see where I get to, shall we?

1. Gullibility - I'm quick to believe stories. A current student keeps feeding me tales and I swallow them up every time.
2. Loyalty - it can go either way, be a strength or a flaw, but my tendency is to stick with the tried and true. I inherited this trait from my father. I can't help being influenced by him*. The expression 'loyal to a fault' applies.
3. I also tend to get defensive with negative feedback and criticism. I'm aware of it and I've been working at it over the last couple of decades. It remains a WIP.
4. The obsessive-compulsive side of my personality manifests itself in my music collection. I am a completist with certain artists and labels. It began as a teenager with The Beatles and John Lennon but has spread over the last 30 years. That's it for the emotional/personality flaws. 
5. In terms of social and interpersonal ones I will own up to a reclusive gene, and a struggle with an aspect of phatic communion - small talk. I tend to get awkward in some social settings.
6. A behavioural flaw centres on my fog dwelling. It may appear that I'm absent-minded at times but the reality is that when I'm completely locked in/ focussed I enter into a kind of foggy dream state where nothing else exists. I understand that this can be very frustrating to key people in my life.

How many was that? Six or seven (ha ha). 

Love and peace - Wozza

*BTW it was his birthday on the weekend (he would have been 98). His influence remains strongly with me as you can tell by my frequent mentions in these posts.  

I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be (Joan Didion)

Photo by Vicky Sim on Unsplash

Wie geht's?

The unexamined life is not worth living, according to Socrates, but the examined life isn't a snap either.

Polonius' advice to his son (Be true to yourself) and the Oracle at Delphi's advice (know thyself) are all well and good but knowing yourself is not a breeze.

As Ryan Holiday says, self-awareness is rare and is a pursuit that takes a lifetime.

From time to time, I attempt to explain who I am in this blog. Here's another chapter in that on-going quest.

Ryan suggests some questions in his book Wisdom Takes Work to help work yourself out.

• What are your strengths?
• What are your flaws?
• What do you like? What do you hate?  
• What are the patterns you picked up in childhood?
• How does your mind work? Why does it work that way?
• Who are you, really?

Now I'm not about to answer all of those now, but I'll have a go at them one at a time.

First up: my strengths.

This is interesting because when I've asked others what they think my strengths are, I get surprising answers. Sometimes things I didn't think were my strong points.

For what it's worth, here are my four cents worth:

1. I knew what my purpose in life was from an early stage. I was twelve when I focused on teaching as a career. I have never deviated from that idea, even when a series of failures could have derailed me. This could be called stickability or naive and blinkered. Those all describe me.
2. A clear moral purpose. I learnt early on how right and wrong worked. Sometimes from doing dumb stuff I got to understand what was wrong. My parents were always there as an example of what was right, they still are. I was a lucky boy and they guide me still - what would Graham do? What would Dulcie say?
3. Emotional intelligence. I remain calm, believe everyone is doing the best they can, and I seek first to understand.
4. A reader and a listener - that describes me well. I loved reading from an early age. I still have a few books in my possession that were my favourites as a toddler. My early memories are often around mum taking me to buy books in Remuera, visiting the Onehunga library, or charging through the colours of the SSR readers at Royal Oak Primary. That love has stuck with me - I am always reading at least one book - most often two. Those quiet times reading probably helped me to become a better listener. It's a key skill and I practise it as much as I can.

Next time - my flaws. I'll aim to keep it down to a top 100.

Love and peace - Wozza

It's a family affair (Sly and the Family Stone)

Wie geht's?

Part two of some recent snaps from the whanau get together at Maple Grove, Palmerston North and Wellington. Special times with a special bunch of people. Warning - super cute geekids ahead!

Love and peace - WNP

Wear your love like heaven (Donovan)

Wie gehts?

We're back at Maple Grove after a week away, first in New Plymouth and then with the whanau in an Air BnB in Wellington, where all the grandkids (the cousin crew) turned up. Because we're all distributed in a variety of countries, these are special times and it's great to spend time with these remarkable people.

These days everyone has a phone, so, luckily, everyone has a camera to document these times. Here's a selection from the beauties taken during the week from a variety of people. They show some lovely family moments, captured forever.

Love and peace - Papa

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you (Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young)

Fanfa is always aware of the camera.

Wie geht's?

The long-awaited fandamly reunion with Purdettes arriving from 'Stralia and Denver happened this week. It marks the first time that we've ever had the four grandchildren together in one place. Very special!

The g-kids - Billie, Asher, Ivy and Poppy

Love and peace - Wozza