Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen (Rammstein)

Graeme McFadyen alerted me to this collection of relevant thoughts from John Cleese. It's hilarious so I thought I'd add it to the blog rather than do the email forward thing.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 400 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!" and "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Love and peace - Wozza

Sun's up, uh huh, looks okay, the world survives into another day and I'm thinking about eternity, some kind of ecstacy got a hold of me (Bruce Cockburn)

We have had some glorious frosty days this week that need celebrating.

We overlook a series of valleys that have been breathtaking in the mornings all week. Autumnal frosts are usually followed by blue sky days and nippyish temperatures. My friends in Al Ain have reported 40 plus degrees of late and so these autumn mornings would be a real shock to the system.

When I open the curtains first thing it is a jolting moment of ecstacy. 

Love and autumnal serenity - Wozza

A constant vogue of triumphs (Yes)

Wahey - another couple of whanau members have appeared centre stage in various forms.

A huge well done to Bambino (a.k.a. Adam Lennon Purdy) for getting recognition for his music via a profile in Tearaway magazine. I was very pleased to see The Dead Sparrows getting a long overdue mention in the profile as well.

Adam was destined to have a career in music. I played loads of Beach Boys music to him while he was getting ready to launch himself upon the world. If you listen really carefully you can hear hints of Brian Wilson in his more lyrical moments.

If you are unfamiliar with Bambino go to http://tearaway.co.nz/2012/05/from-boy-to-bambino/ and that has links to Adam's music sites. The article is on that site too.

Fanfa (a.k.a. Samantha Mary Purdy) literally had her own centre stage moment this week at the Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington. She was not only the birthday girl on the 16th May but she was capped with her BA degree in the graduation ceremony on the 17th. Jade and Jesse joined me and SWMBO for the special occasion and the poses.

'A constant vogue of triumphs' indeed (scary how the music I listen to while I write these posts throws up the perfect line - Jon Anderson's lyric is from Close To The Edge by Yes).

Love and peace - Wozza

You can watch it come, you can watch it go (Lindisfarne)

Like Dylan I've been having fun watching the river flow of late. Actually, in my case it's the changing landscape rather than the river.

These three pictures are looking towards northern Hawke's Bay.

While these are looking east and south.

It obviously makes for a very different landscape to what we were used to in the Middle East, living in the middle of a desert with the rest of Al Ain's 400,000 residents.

I should also point out that the pictures make us look more remote than we really are. We do have some neighbours - it's just that I didn't take pictures with their houses in the frame.

I am loving watching the big skies too. This was what yesterday had to offer:

Love and peace - Wozza

I've said it once and I'll say it again, we've got some pretty soily company (Macca)

I mentioned in a whanau email that one of our number has made the cover of the Australian Woman's Weekly. It's a message worth repeating right!

Jeanette Thomas (a.k.a Jeanette Harnish, a.k.a Jynette) is first and foremost a whanau member but she is also a media darling and she's a star! Actually she always has been and she certainly deserves all the success and media exposure that comes her way. Nu Zilders know her from the TV consumer watchdog programme Target and now she has taken over a role on TV One's Good Morning show - http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv/5978687/New-Good-Morning-hosts-announced

I bought the Aussie Women's Weekly (Jynette's in great company - the only other times I've bought it is if a Beatle has been on the cover) and very proudly read the story of her rise to fame and glory. Of course, it only showed one side of her. It missed the sparkly fun, cheeky wit and personality of the real thing but there you go. Media PR can do that to you. It also glossed over the Macleans College portion of her story - not that I was looking for a mention or anything yunnerstand.

Although, if I was still teaching media studies at that great school I would have a nifty example of how the media feeds upon itself. I could even invite Jynny along to discuss it!

Latest Waffle news:

He continues to act more as a puppy dog following us all over the property and he is very inquisitive as you can see. He especially enjoys helping me in the garden and loves it when I dig a hole to plant Aggys - provides him with endless fun falling into the hole and chasing bits of dirt around (which brings us neatly back to the title).

Bazil, of course, remains totally unimpressed.

The five applicants for alpha male at our place.

Love and peace - Wozza

What's my line? I'm happy cleaning windows (Van Morrsion)

One of the whanau lives in Abu Dhabi on the 60th floor of the building on the left called Sun Tower (we'll call him Graeme McFadyen). How he and his wife, Jan, live there is beyond me. Sixty floors up sounds a lot and it is. I'm a scaredy cat and couldn't look out at the world from that high up on a daily basis. No way!

Anyway - a while ago Graeme sent me some photos that he took from inside his apartment looking out, and they need to be shared with the blogosphere.

They are not outtakes from the Tom Cruise MI: 4 movie Ghost Protocol (Tom's adventures on the Burj Khalifa in Dubai also make my toes curl).

The window cleaner working 60 floors up is the real deal.

Love and peace - Wozza