Remember when you were a little kid, what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend (Jerry Seinfeld)

Patrick, Randy, Jacky and Wozza hit Taupo

Wie geht's?

Jerry Seinfeld's bit about your real friends came to mind during the weekend as Jacky and I spent quality time with some old friends at Maple Grove and then Taupo (where that selfie was taken).

When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're not interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food. They don't know the activities. If I meet a guy in a club or the gym or someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of potential, but we're just not hiring right now.

To paraphrase writer Alex Williams - up to your 50s and 60s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, your wife's friends, your children's friends/partners and their families and, of course, Facebook. But actual close friends — the kind you make at school, university and in your twenties, the kind you call in a crisis — those are in shorter supply. 

That's very true. Patrick and Randy - thanks for a great spontaneous weekend!

Love and peace - Wozza

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink (The Beatles)

Wie geht's?

John Lennon (born 9 October 1940, died 8 December 1980) knew a thing or two. For one, that sleep was important.

Jerry Seinfeld concurs! And so do I!

As Jerry would say - I'm on no sleep. That's thanks to either a cold or allergy (I think cold, Jacky says it's the pollens), the sudden heat producing muggy nights, or Rey barking endlessly at something - that was last night.

With three more days of school for the year, that all adds up me freaking out man!

Love and (looking forward to some) peace - Wozza

Okay, I'm gonna take the suit, and the shoes, and the hat (Kramer)

Wie geht's?

Meet Ray. 

He was a character from Seinfeld's The Statue episode. You remember - the psycho cleaner, boyfriend of the kooky Russian writer, Rava, who kinda steals the statue that Kramer has to get back by pretending to be a old school cop.

Got it?

Ray is also the name I gave to Jerry's would be canine companion. An Aussie cattle dog. But then Ray, true to Seinfeld namesake and Aussie battler stereotype, went all batshit psycho and attacked two other dogs at the vets (after having a spat with Jerry and being put in his place) so Ray has been returned to the dog ranger, from whence he came originally.

Poor Jerry.

The search for a companion goes on.

Love and peace - Woz 

Summer, Buddy Holly, the working folly, Good golly, Miss Molly and boats, Hammersmith Palais, the Bolshoi Ballet, Jump back in the alley and nanny goats (Ian Dury)

Photo by Erick Tang on Unsplash

50 Reasons to be cheerful in 2017:

• Looking forward, each week, to James Whatley's Five Things on a Friday 
• Christmas visits from the family (Jade, Adam, Samantha)
• Blacklist binges on Netflix
• Reading my newspaper The Walrus Gumboot - courtesy of Paper.li
• Medium.com stories - usually a few gems with each edition, although the message that I'd exceeded my monthly quota was annoying
• Seeing Jerry Seinfeld with Jade
• Morning feel good quotes for/from the staff at morning briefings
• Vox sentences
• Watching Dunkirk with Jacky
• Thomas Oppong's articles via Medium.com
• Star Wars: The Last Jedi 
• Austin Kleon's newsletter that comes into my inbox regularly
• Lunchtime walks with my coach, Liz
• Paul McCartney on December 16 at Mt Smart Stadium, Auckland
• Lindsay Hope's CD collection will be giving pleasure for a long time to come
• Seth Godin's blog, which comes every day, regularly provides food for thought 
• November trip to Keri Keri for a weekend thanks to the kids
• Dan Rockwell's advice, again every day, has pearls of regular wisdom
• Whatsapp - the vehicle for hilarious fandamily interactions
• Netflix has provided great viewing throughout the year
• The Arsenal victory over Spurs was a tonic in an otherwise forgettable season, again
• Greg Knowles' Seventies Music blog provides a shedload of memories
• Daily writing on my blogs
• Visiting Universal Studios at the start of the year with Samantha
• Regular visits to Real Groovy in Auckland for vinyl 
• Marbeck's Records and JB Hi-Fi are still providing CD fixes
• Messages and videos from Noel Forth via Messenger
• Facebook hilarity from mates Greg Knowles and Kevin Simms
• Driving with Samantha and Jacky from San Francisco to LA along the Pacific coast
• Disneyland with Jacky - the happiest place on earth for us
• IHOP Anaheim and blueberry pancakes
• The view from the top of the Brynderwyn Hills looking towards Whangarei
• Autumn, every year
• Card for my 60th birthday from my staff
• Playing backyard cricket with the kids again
• 366 Days With Wisdom by Venerable Master Hsing Yun
• The Hard Rock Cafes in London and San Francisco
• Finding the new copy of West Bruce and Laing's Whatever Turns You On
• Reading 50 books in the year and fulfilling a goal
• Our new Border Collie, Jerry, and his surviving Parvo
• Seeing Jeanette Thomas at the Macca concert
• The organic Whole Life Cafe in Maungaturoto is a life saver
• Taking the ferry to Russell
• The drive from Russell to Whangarei that takes in the Helena Bay Hill Gallery and Cafe (great, great gardens)
• The spectacular tree outside my ART room
• Seeing Keegan happy and purposeful in China
• The view from our lounge towards the Bryderwyns
• Building the horse yards for Grace and Beetlebaum
• Playing ball chase games with Jerry
• Browsing in Amoeba Records, San Francisco
• Mocha at the Beach Cafe Ruakaka (my cup runneth over - this being #51)

Love and peace and into 2018 we go...Wozza

My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time (Jerry Seinfeld)

I came into close contact with Jerry World last week. 

I had some time to kill and Jerry was all around me.

Jerry reckons that there are only two parts to his world - 'sucks' and 'great'. And actually, as he points out, they are pretty close.

Certainly, I didn't do my best work last week. Had to let that go. 

Because the weekend was great, so let's focus on that. 

It started off well with signing up to Bein Sports (via Sky TV) just in time to watch the thrilling second half of Arsenal's 4-3 win over Leicester.

Pootling off to pick up DLG at Auckland Airport we saw an accident's aftermath just before Te Hana. That sucked.

Spark Arena in Auckland was buzzing for Jerry (the air was electric that night my friends).

The warm up comedian was good. But Jerry was GREAT. An hour and a half of continuous laughter. Joy to the world!

Jade and I polished off a couple of donuts on the way back to the hotel where SWMBO had settled in and we all awoke refreshed.

Small things like Jade's flight being delayed for a few hours just meant a more leisurely Sunday morning. It all evens out for me.

Next big adventure - Macca on December 16. Ooh baby!!

Love and peace - Wozza

You’re giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ routine? (George Costanza)

DLG and I are off to see Jerry Seinfeld this Saturday night in Auckland. Father and daughter time!

It seems we bought our tickets years ago! But it's nearly here and I'm freakin' out maan. 

Seinfeld is a big part of our lives. The TV show is easily the greatest comedy of all time. It's official. On this issue there's no debate. We know the lines, baby.

But it's more than that - I would use at least one reference from the show every day (or think it). Not that there's anything wrong with that.

He's a close talker; she's a low talker; would you like a high lighter; ah that's a shame; everything evens out for me; signals Jerry, signals; I'm on no sleep; Jeer-rey; you've got to see the baby; Vanderlay Industries; the sea was angry that day my friends; but I don't wanta be a pirate...I could go on!

This will be my third comedy show. The other two were: Billy Connolly in the late seventies with Phyllis Omand at the Auckland Town Hall; Rowan Atkinson with Jacky Smith in the early eighties in New Plymouth.

My face hurt for days after those shows.

Saturday night...freakin' out!

Yada yada - Wozza

Master of the house, doling out the charm (From Les Miserables)

I love Seinfeld. Again - this is not news, I'm aware of that.

I've started watching it again from Season One - I think Jade and I last did this when we were living in Stratford so it's past due. Unfortunately Jade isn't home these days to share this experience, and SWMBO doesn't get Seinfeld so I'm watching a few episodes each day before school when she's asleep.

After a shaky pilot (billed as The Seinfeld Chronicles) it quickly got into a more natural stride and gave hints of the greatness to come. Season One was quite short - only five shows.

I'm currently in Season Two (thirteen shows) and I've laughed out aloud during every episode so far (and I know these episodes well - trust me!).

There were some iconic Seinfeld moments in Season Two: I had a pony (The Pony Remark); Elaine's father and Jerry's monologue about fathers - The hell with the world, I can make my own people (The Jacket); I'm never eating here again (The Busboy); thin ice George - very thing ice (The Baby Shower); the George rendition of a Les Mis song (also in The Jacket); my mothers making a roast o potatoes (The Statue); maybe the dingo ate your baby (The Stranded); and you know we're living in a society (The Chinese Restaurant) are only a few.

This clip from The Chinese Restaurant episode in Season Two tells you all you need to know about why I love George Costanza, Jerry Seinfeld and the show itself.

The comic timing by Jason Alexander is superb. My laugh aloud moment - George beckons Jerry over and says after a pause - If anything happens here, can I count on you?




Love and peace - Wozza