Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads (Snow Patrol)

SWMBO does not like comedians and can't see why I adore some of the genius exponents of a good chuckle (Groucho, Woody, Bill Murray, Jerry Seinfeld, Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais frinstance).

So we watch a lot of action films and TV series (The Unit, 24) because that's where our tastes intersect. Period shows like Downton Abbey and medical dramas are also in the intersection mix.

Currently we are watching Grey's Anatomy. This is definitely Jacky territory but it's growing on me as I get comfortable with the characters and the gooey surgical procedures (still not there with that last bit).

We're up to season three (and don't worry Jade I'll be bringing them back to Nu Zild at some point).

The old hospital drama eh. Doctors and nurses. Sex basically. Where did doctors and nurses get this reputation from?

Growing up I remember seeing a lot of Richard Gordon's Doctor fixated novels about our house: Doctor in Clover, Doctor in the House, Doctor at Sea, Doctor on Toast (yes that was really the title) etc etc. That was the early 60's. They were pretty tame but never-the-less the old nudge nudge wink wink was often part of the subtext.

I'm not sure where the stereotype of the nurse as an administring angel (dressed in white) got turned into the promiscuous version that is often seen in TV hospital dramas in the late 20th/early 21st centuries. Let's not even think about the daytime soaps version of general hospitals and sand through the hourglass type shite.

It's interesting that some of my favourite TV medical dramas have all drawn on the stereotype.

M*A*S*H* (a smart, anti-war comedy) also had Margaret 'Hotlips' Hoolihan and a parade of readily available nurses for Hawkeye and the rest of the male cast to drool over; ER started with George Clooney as the dishy doc and he had relationships with various cast members before heading away to star in movies and ads for Omega watches.

Grey's Anatomy doesn't deviate much from the ER template - bizarre medical cases, doctors regularly swapping sexual partners, dramatic relationships between characters, traumatic events (the bomb in the body episode was a memorable episode), and more doctors regularly swapping sexual partners.

The point of difference is probably the focus on the younger doctors (interns) as they learn their profession in a highly glamourised way (obviously the show doesn't often show the brutal hours and the mundane routines - this has to be an exciting hour to spend our time after all). The racial mix is also much more interesting and the musical montages are a great feature. It also appears to be really realistic (those gooey scenes that Jacky loves).

The drama associated with doctors and nurses in a hospital is clearly a proven winner. The show has been hugely successful and is up to season eight now.

Of the main characters Jacky and I agree that Meredith Grey's voice is annoying and she is the least likeable character (Yang is a close second). George (left) is easily our favourite character. He's like a rumpled cuddly puppy compared to the intentionally obnoxious Alex and the blonde trailer-park-trashy, at times feral, Izzy.
 
I think that's why I enjoy the show actually - the characters are well drawn and multi-dimensional and we are slowly finding out more and more about them as the seasons unwind. Just when you think you have a charcter nailed the writers reveal something else about them that forces a reassessment.

Alex (a.k.a. Evil Spawn) for example can be seriously annoying and confrontational but then there will be an episode that shows he has a sense of humour; just when you think he's the shallowest man alive he not only drains a little more out of the pool but in the next episode he will do something nice for someone (like not kill them).

An enigma wrapped in a riddle.


Love and peace - Wozza


Oh btw - finished Groucho and Me and now moving apace through I Am Ozzy. Obviously he was taped doing a while lotta remembering and then hours of disjointed stories and memories were pieced together by a writer (Chris Ayres). That doesn't mean it isn't Ozzy's book or that its not a terrific read - it is (both).

Full of Ozzy honesty and details about his younger self and the emergence of Black Sabbath from the Earth. Superb and funny as firetruck.

I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you (Walt Whitman)

I'm a little obsessed with autobiographies at the moment. A vicarious and voyeuristic thrill.

I blame Keith Richards. And Andre Agassi. Who'd a thought?

Since reading Life, and Open I have been rediscovering the joys associated with reading about someone else's life.

Currently I have Groucho and Me by Groucho Marx as a guide to comedy, brotherhood, and living well and waiting in the wings I have four others:

Ozzy Osbourne - I Am Ozzy
Neil McCormick - Killing Bono
Ronnie Wood - Ronnie
Patti Smith - Just Kids

The Groucho book is remarkable. For one thing - I love his voice, and his voice shines through every sentence. For another - I love the way he loves his family (including the incorrigible Chico). For another - I love the anecdotes he selects.

Groucho And Me (His real name was Julius Marx) was written in 1959 when he was still active as an entertainer.

As a comedian he was a genius and he's right when he says that comedians 'are a much rarer and a far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world. But because we are laughed at, I don't think people really understand how essential we are to their sanity'.

He's also smart. Smart enough to quote the playwright S Behrman (no - I hadn't heard of him either) on how good comic acting trumps straight dramatic acting:

Any playwright who has been up against the agony of casting plays will tell you that the actor who can play comedy is the fellow to shoot for. The comic intuition gets to the heart of a human situation with a precision and a velocity unobtainable in any other way. A great comic actor will do it for you with an inflection of voice as adroit as a flick of the wrist of a virtuoso fencer.

A pretty decent description of the wonderful Groucho!

Love and Peace - Wozza

Patience was her virtue still (Elvis Costello from 'Little Atom')

Today's theme is Patience.

Paul Sweeney (no, I don't know who he is either) once asked a pretty good question:

How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young? 

 I suspect that Paul lived in a more innocent age of Betty Crocker cakes, watching Bonanza with a TV tray on his knee and polaroids. What would he make of today's instant gratification? Waiting more than a nano second for an interweb connection drives us potty.

My mother always said, "Patience is a virtue - possess it if you can. It's found in a woman, but seldom in a man".

As always Ralph Waldo Emerson has his finger on the pulse: Adopt the pace of nature:  her secret is patience.  


Ryokan (a Japanese Zen poet) wrote a simple poem:

Maple leaf
Falling down
Showing front
Showing back

The maple leaf's journey (slowly drifting) in the poem exemplifies a natural freedom (a buddhist would call this 'right action' - the fourth aspect of the eightfold path).

It is the opposite of a willed, goal-oriented action that usually governs our lives. Generally our desire, our actions, our speech, and our thoughts are geared toward bringing about some particular end product by exerting control. Then, when these efforts at control fail, we suffer.

I can hear friends of mine saying something like - what should I be? A leaf in the wind? Having no will or goals?

But we really are that leaf in the wind. We are all part of that nature that Emerson says we should look to as an example.We are the maple leaf! By all means have your goals but know that trying to exert control is useless because we never had it to begin with.

Let me use an example to show what I mean.

I have a particular problem with flying in a plane because I don't feel comfortable giving up control. I resist and I really suffer.

I have a little mantra of sayings that I repeat to myself when I feel particularly stressed in the plane and it starts with - c a l m (intake of breath) b r e a t h i n g (out take of breath). I find this helps a lot.

I then try hard to acknowledge that I never had control in the first place and that gets me through the flight.

I try to remember the maple leaf.

The wider implications of this are felt in my daily life. Problems always come when I try to control a situation.

Take a job interview frinstance.

I do thorough preparation for the interview. I research the school and analyse its data. I think of all the types of questions that I might be asked. At this point my maple leaf is still attached to the tree. It is not a question of control or not.

The second I get into the actual interview the maple leaf detaches itself and starts its drift (showing front, showing back). The interview takes on a life of its own. I have no control over the types of questions I am asked. I have no control over the thoughts and motives of the interviewers. I have no control over the outcome either.

I deliberately relinquish control and feel good and this persists after the interview. Because I know from bitter experience that if my mind seeks to control things that it can't - I am headed for longing, wanting, craving and the pain of confusion.

When I went for a recent job interview the person who was meeting and greeting applicants commented on how relaxed I appeared. I assured her I was relaxed. Little did she know it was all down to a humble maple leaf.

Love and peace - Wozza

That I might be a part of this, ripple on water from a lonesome drip (Laura Marling)

To study the Buddha's way is to study the self,

to study the self is to forget the self,

to forget the self is to be awakened

by ten thousand things.

In a life of dream am I (Patti Smith)

Today, Mohammed (my Principal) told me about a dream he had yesterday. 

He dreamt about me.

He was surprised to see me in his dream. I was with three other people (he doesn't know who the others were or he forgot who they were before he woke).

He was again surprised because I was dressed in the white ihram, a garment consisting of two sheets of white unhemmed cloth that pilgrims wear.

He spoke to me and asked why I was dressed like this. I said I was on the haij (the pilgrimage to Mecca).

This again surprised him and he asked if I knew how to act on the hajj. In his dream I told him about the series of rituals! He was amazed!

Then he woke.

Mohammed said it was a very vivid dream and it is a very good omen for me. I thanked him a lot!

Take the elevator to the escalator, ride it down and start again (Weezer)

As per every one of my birthdays, since about 1970, I bought some Beatles product on my latest trip to the Dubai Mall.

Every year, around this time, I manage to add to my Fabs collection which just goes to show that the Beatles have never gone (and never will go) out of fashion or stop generating revenue for someone.

My latest two additions: Fab Faq 2.0 : The Beatles' Solo Years 1970-1980 by Robert Rodrigeuz is a companion volume to Fab Four Faq which has some amazingly esoteric facts on the Fabs that I've never seen before. I picked up the first volume a few months ago and saw this one at the Dubai Mall Bookstore as well. Knowing I had a birthday coming up I carefully hid it behind some other Beatles' books (there are lots so there was no danger someone would spot it).

The second addition was the latest copy of Filter magazine (number 45).

It's not really my kind of magazine - it's aimed a few generations younger than me, issue 45 does have a certain George Harrison on the cover though and that certainly got my attention.

The inside 'story' surrounds various young musicians and their thoughts on George (there is a new Scorsese documentary coming out which looks amazing and it's 10 years since George died).

I enjoyed reading it but the rest of the magazine is very glossy - lots of ads for American icons like Levis jeans - that sort of thing. The landscape format for the thing is quite weird too - the sizing above is accurate for the page layout and that takes a little adjusting to - damn thing kept sliding off my knees!

Talking of the Dubai Mall - I have this recurring fantasy that is a lot like the Tom Hanks movie The Terminal. I could easily live in the Dubai Mall. Easily!

It has it all. It really is a city in there. Apart from the fact that I would have unlimited supply to new technology (computer stores by the dozen), and old technology (I would never run out of books to read from the Bookstore, or music or movies to watch from Virgin or at the movie theatres).

There are seemingly endless places to have a meal or grab a coffee. Sleeping would not need to be rough - there are many really posh home decor stores.

Fashion? You name it. Sports equipement? Check.

Bathrooms? They are all over the place.

I can't think of anything I'd need that you couldn't get there. Even peace and quiet is available (the Mall opens slowly and sleepily at 10am).

In fact I'd be very willing to conduct a Big Brother House type experiment - to live in the Dubai Mall for...I don't know...a month? Two months? No problem. Anyone want to sponsor me?

Love and peace - Wozza

Gonna start the revolution from my bed (Oasis)

Thanks for all the birthday messages from the whanau on Facebook and via email. Great to know you're all out there thinking about me from time to time.
Ross sent me a great (early) birthday message - wishing me a happy 54th revolution around the sun.

Maybe I'm a complete idiot, but that doesn't sound like much does it? In the great scheme of things 54 years is nothing.

Having just finished Bill Bryson's At Home book I am keenly aware of how slow technological progress has been until very recently. The last 54 years have seen an explosion of changes, and yet...I am sitting at a desk, on a chair, around me are books, papers and things that someone in 1957 would recognise without too much problem.

Never-the-less, I thought it might be fun to comment on a few of the changes in daily life since 1957 as I experience them today.

Number 1 - In 1957, no personal computers, no blogs, no interweb. I would have written this out on paper using a ballpoint pen (I still prefer a fountain pen but ballpoints had been invited way before 1957) and mailed it. I would have had to send it to you all individually and by the time you received the letter everything would be out of date. If you wanted to reply that would have had me waiting for weeks. As well as that - the person who recently logged on to one of my posts from Nigeria would not have had his life enriched by reading Wordsworth's words.

Number 2 - no CDs, no car sound systems or even radios in the car. I would not have been listening to Devin Townsend's Ziltoid The Omniscient in my car's sound system on the way to work this morning. Music, of course, would have been available in my home via vinyl long players, but without much to listen to. Although Elvis was on the Ed Sullivan show in 1957 it would be years before his influences were felt in far away New Zealand.

Number 3 - no Masafi Touch of Peach bottled water. I've just cracked open a bottle. Not available in 1957. If I wanted a drink of water then I would have gone to the tap (not really a recommended practice in the UAE)

Number 4 - no mobile phone technology. Just received a call from Jacky from her cell phone. Where we live in the UAE there are no land lines to houses (or even our offices at school) because cell phone technology is so much easier. There is a landline in the Deputy Principal's office. It rings about once a week on average. The landline in the Principal's office is for the fax machine. 

Number 5 - no staple gun, electronic calculator, glue sticks, and highlighters. That person from 1957 walking into my office would not recognise these items of stationery on my desk. And where would we be without the highlighter??

Number 6 - no country! Yes that's right - the United Arab Emirates did not exist as a country in 1957. It celebrates its 40th birthday this year.

Number 7 - no digital cameras. Pros and cons here. How many of us loved the thrill of collecting a wallet of photos from the chemists after about a week? The immediate opportunity to delete a load of tat is pretty cool though!

Number 8 - no Jacqueline Frances Smith. It took another 5 years for She Who Must Be Obeyed to emerge. Without SWMBO, no Keegan, Adam, Samantha or Jade.

And what about a few things that have been around since 1957?

Number 1 - air conditioning. Yes, a product that we couldn't live without in the UAE has, amazingly, been around since 1902 when the first modern electrical air conditioning unit was invented.

Number 2 - traffic roundabouts. But only just. The modern roundabout to ease traffic congestion dates from mid century surprisingly. Again - the UAE would have a very different kind of chaos on the roads if there were no roundabouts. Al Ain has hundreds of the things!

Number 3 - and...um...me! Yes without Wozza's world there would also be no Keegan, Adam, Samantha, Jade so I think you guys owe me!

Love and peace - Wozza on his 54th Revolution