There in my heart, there is you (Caravan)

JFP, New Plymouth 9 July, 2023

Wie geht's?

As I've been spending a lot of time in New Plymouth recently watching Jacky and her sister deal with their mother's passing, the relationship between brothers and sisters has been on my mind of late.

Bear with me as I extrapolate...

My brother and I are yin yang - two opposites joined within a circle. The opposite circles within the big circle could represent our parents - as they were separate people, yet, fused together, we all contributed to a whole, cohesive image.

I continue to realise how special my childhood was. At the time of course you know no better - it's just how life is as you grow up. But life and experience, and hearing others' versions of childhood makes me realise again how privileged I was. I like to quip to Jacky that I have lived a charmed life - and so I have!

Ross and I were very close as children, but we are very different people and we went down different rabbit holes after I left home. Of course, we will always have a healthy brotherly bond but we don't figure in each other's lives beyond the surface. 

Sisters though. That looks way more complicated from where I'm sitting.

To my mind, Jade and Samantha are not so much yin yang, rather they join together to make one side (the yin), while Keegan and Adam join to make the yang. Jacky and I are those separate but together circles within the circle. Together we make a whole, cohesive image.

Sibling rivalry is fascinating and complicated. As brothers, Ross and I were treated exactly the same by our parents and our interests were so very different that we didn't clash that much. Apart from brotherly spats and fights when we were kids (i.e. Ross would get frustrated when I beat him at sports and do things like throw the bat at me), I can't think of a single instance where we have clashed as adults.

As for my own children, the same holds true, I believe. As children we aimed to treat them the same, but they battled it out for pecking order and the middle two had some intense moments. Since adulthood though, I can't think of any such moments. I guess the rivalry between the four is ameliorated somewhat by living in completely different countries, but still, they support each other and get on well as adults.

In times of trouble, I know I can count on them for support and love. It's reciprocal too: I am exceedingly proud of my kids and love them unconditionally.  

Love and peace - WNP