Wednesday, November 12, 2014

I want you to rock me baby, like my back ain't got no bones (B B King)

This one's about mobile phones, smart phones and my Nokia.

I'm not a fan of mobile phones. I'm suspicious of smart phones. I have a Nokia.

I am aware that this fact instantly stigmatises me. No one these days has a Nokia (okay, I exaggerate - me, Awesome Greg and a guy in Helsinki - that's it).

I'm not proud of it: I shrink with embarrassment if I get a call from SWMBO in a shopping mall.

But there are reasons why I maintain the Nokia.

My Nokia is the phone Cognition gave me to use in the UAE when I worked for them from 2010 to 2012.

Of course it's a piece of crap but it's done me well up to now. Although the keyboard is small and the display is hard to see if it's daytime, the battery lasts all week, I can receive calls on it, I can text on it and it is idiot proof. Just.

I have a problem with mobile phones per se. They tie us down - SWMBO gets upset with my lack of availability (I won't take it to class) but I know they are a necessary evil in the 21st Century.

Smart phones worry me - they are basically  a scam perpetrated on us by big business (The Man is sticking it to us!). Telecommunication companies throughout the world are coining it and I don't have any hankering to add to their coffers.

I also worry about all the functions smart phones have, my ignorance means they can syphon money off like crazy like car mechanics. I also worry that I'll never understand them. As far as I can see- all the bells and whistles mean there are more things that can go wrong.

Remember- I'm Mr Less-Is-More.

But...still...but still.. the lure of checking my vitals (football scores, Twitter feeds, the cool apps to monitor your health) remains in the dim middle distance: a shimmery mirage haze that beckons me to walk zombie style towards it.

And the fact that I'm rapidly getting left behind concerns me. I am a long way from an early adapter to phone technology but, ironically, I do love gadgets.

After she upgraded, Jade gave me her old Sony Xperia. It's been sitting on the desk at home for a few days. I know that there is no turning back once I swap SIM cards and start paying money for data.

But there it is again - hark - Karl Pilkington's words are ringing in my ears as I think about the impending transition: "We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about" 


Love and peace - Wozza

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