Wie geht's?
Or more appropriately, given I am beaming into you from Paris: Comment allez-vous?
Let's get right to it - France is weird. Alien weird.
Apart from the obvious - language barriers, insane driving on the wrong side of the road and people who look like supermodels, there are all the little weird things.
Pedestrian crossings are a guideline and green you-can-walk lights are a sign that motorists can run you over (extra points).
The LOML and I spent yesterday going to and coming back from Paris Disneyland.
Give me the London Underground EVERY TIME! The signage in the Paris equivalent is mind numbingly bizarre. It took us all day and many journeys up and down stairs to figure out that an arrow pointing downwards and an arrow pointing upwards mean the same thing: walk straight on.
And Disneyland? On the whole it was a positive experience but given it's American culture transposed onto a French town it's a little like entering an alternative universe.
Being in France the park's no smoking signs are routinely ignored and smoking is not limited to the smoking areas (smoking areas???).
Various Disney guards wonder around telling off little kids from climbing on things but absolutely ignore all the smokers. And don't get me started about the vile vapes - what a rotten invention they are!
I'm pretty sure Walt would not be impressed at the sale of alcohol at food outlets as well.
Apart from that, the millions of people, the lengthy waits, queues for food, the backpacks hitting me as I sat, the strollers used as weapons to carve through crowds, and the continual body spam - on the whole it was the multi-sensual experience that we'd been looking forward to for a while.
The sky was a brilliant blue, the rides we went on were fantastic fun, the food was great and the parades were joyful.
Not quite the happiest place on earth though - that place is in Anaheim, Los Angeles.
Love and peace - WNP
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